Sick..

Omg.. i'm sick and yes i'm gng to bathe and sleep right after this.

Bought this voucher on groupon, found a few good deals for travel but guess what? I don't feel like travelling at all! -.-

In fact, I don't feel like anything. Its not that I've lost interest in life. In fact, my life is so fulfilling lor.. like -HOW FULFILLING is this?-

Yup, drawing lessons are really amazing. Topping that fun is my great drawing partner- guess what? From the exact same company, I really mean scholar batch. We've been through 3 lessons le, and I'm only finally updating it here now (becos I'm sick and cancelled on everyone). The first lesson was awesome, copying stuff she printed for us, finally picking up the pencil again. Second lesson was not that great cos its my most awkward face drawing. Third was good again, cos sitting beside my drawing partner, and comparing and giggling at each other's drawings. Second lesson I was sitting this really insecure little lady who was so critical of her own work it loses all the freedom of drawing. Okay, sorry, its not really drawing lessons. We're doing "Fashion Illustration".

So, with that much gng on, I re-read my last post and didn't quite understand what I was talking about. Lol.. i was very sure it made alot of sense when I typed it.

That said, time to nurse myself back to health first. (although I have so much to say)

De__ess___

and so i don't know why, i should be in bed but i choose to type here.. there something very empty inside of me...

its an ideal two days of no work and just training.. although very boring training as the students are not active and difficult to open up and exchange ideas.. and very tough material every single session reminding me of my weakness, how to know if the traffic comes in has gone through NAT? how many different events can the router listen for at all the packets? I've never been learning well in sch.. :(

and i just went to try to answer a qn.. i do not wish to ask.. for i am not ready to know the negative ans... how can anyone ask a qn and only expect positive ans lei? sigh... (it reminds me of pple who propose, they only want to hear +ve ans..-.-)

I've been talking to too many pple.. talking too much... but... i need to talk.. i guess i really need to talk to that particular someone.. and not any others.. yet.. i cant talk to her.. she's far and she's leaving... sigh... and i dun wan to go around in circles.. i want to get out of this CIRCLE!!!! (infinite loop la)

hang in there girl... SURVIVE!!!

Optimism

And so one goes on to figure, which exactly is my real self?

It has been a spirit lifting week seeing so much effort put in and such great results. It is consoling and relieving to know that things are on course... I feel like I came back from a holiday although it was a work trip.

Let's keep it this way. :)

Point to point

On the eve of the eve of the eve of Lunar New Year, we had our dept lunch at some uluated restaurant where I got a lift to Newton MRT and bumped into the same colleagues at lunch who took a bus there.

And so, my colleague and I were both heading home to Dakota stn and I've made some calculation of stops and turns out if I take to Bishan, the MRT will make 2 less stops than making the interchange at Dhoby Gaut. But bumping into that friend at the station, we were discussing on which route will be better when another chipped in to have us take different routes to find that out. And so we took on the challenge, me to Bishan and he to Dhoby Gaut.

Its interesting how the circle line gives us an additional option to travel point to point, yet makes travelling so complicated as another commented there is not one direct route to a location anymore.

Turns out that I lost, as although the Bishan route takes two less stops, the in-between travelling time, (esp the Bishan - x - Serangoon) is longer.

Hence, take the Dhoby route!

And I thought ..

Last year was bad..

With all the, "solve this for ops mgr or proj will not move!"
To, "they dun do then who do? we need the asset to do our test!"

But this year, following all rules and regs. Being so obedient to mgt's expectations, i feel that i've done so much more in the past two months than the past year. That's what I got from trying to write my SAF - staff appraisal form.

But no, its not cos the things closer are clearer in my mind. I have been noting my daily tasks for the year and really, i've basically been doing inconclusive tasks for the past year as compared to now. and also, of course having to do alot more now too cos my HCD puts simply "I cant find anyone to hire" what can I say?

And finally i've reached the phase past what my colleagues have been experiencing since the day i joined - 'i want to quit'.

I believe in Providence...

It's Christmas. No better day to remember Providence.

I believe in Providence, so much so that I abhor how men are such control freaks. Controlling the time they go to the bus stop according to the next bus arrival information, controlling every second of their lives witn the gazillion information available (traffic jam - change routes, mrt accident - change plans, weather report - adjust travel plans).

I wonder how many pple still live in the moment, still live to see surprises and still live to allow for Providence?

Providence is, not asking your colleagues to wait you out for lunch, not arranging to meet anyone, but bump into the very person you've been hoping to lunch with for eons.

Providence is, you were supposed to go to the MRT but discovered the downpour out there and head towards a taxi stand, enroute seeing an old friend and sitting down there and then to catch up.

Providence is, waiting at your hotel room for your boss to finish her phone call, and opening the hotel door as the voices outside sounded familiar and discovering your secondary schoolmate.

This is how amazing Providence is.

God Bless us all, a Merry Christmas.

"I can't believe some pple can be so disorganised!"

Do you know what a best friend's response to this exclamation is?

"Haiz, you're thinking about _____ (him) again?"

This is reading-thoughts to the highest realm. And she says its normal. Even her supervisor can tell. - I don't believe.

In any case, Wicked is GOOD. Is an understatement.

Its the one and only musical that gives humans an euphoria post watching that even someone who doesn't understand English will get. The songs, the emotions, the costume, the crescendo gives it all the Wicked Flavour.

Cos watching from afar really doesn't put you into situation as quickly as downstairs does. We concluded its more worth it to buy front row stall tickets even if it burns 200bucks from our pockets. (And she says 300 bucks per month to drive a car is a waste cos she can use it to shop alot, then again, she spent 300 on two pairs of shoes today! :P Ironicality to the max.)