De__ess___

and so i don't know why, i should be in bed but i choose to type here.. there something very empty inside of me...

its an ideal two days of no work and just training.. although very boring training as the students are not active and difficult to open up and exchange ideas.. and very tough material every single session reminding me of my weakness, how to know if the traffic comes in has gone through NAT? how many different events can the router listen for at all the packets? I've never been learning well in sch.. :(

and i just went to try to answer a qn.. i do not wish to ask.. for i am not ready to know the negative ans... how can anyone ask a qn and only expect positive ans lei? sigh... (it reminds me of pple who propose, they only want to hear +ve ans..-.-)

I've been talking to too many pple.. talking too much... but... i need to talk.. i guess i really need to talk to that particular someone.. and not any others.. yet.. i cant talk to her.. she's far and she's leaving... sigh... and i dun wan to go around in circles.. i want to get out of this CIRCLE!!!! (infinite loop la)

hang in there girl... SURVIVE!!!

Optimism

And so one goes on to figure, which exactly is my real self?

It has been a spirit lifting week seeing so much effort put in and such great results. It is consoling and relieving to know that things are on course... I feel like I came back from a holiday although it was a work trip.

Let's keep it this way. :)