The last day of 2009

Oh dear, its the last day of 2009! (and yes, the current plan is to spend it at home)

I miss 2009 already. So many exciting events happened, so much fulfilling experiences. I'm so glad of them and so grateful to all.

So many firsts too! My first job, my first boss, my first pay, my first... (all related to work eh?) my first trip to poland/vienna/salzburg.., my first cup of choya, my first taste of biao ge's sushi, my first spa membership, my first ceramic perm, my first trip to batam with lovely girls, my first girl's night out, my first tequila pop, my first time merlioning... omg so many firsts!!!!

Its been a lovely year. Thank you nature, Thank you my dearest friends! I'm so touched and deeply appreciative of all of you!!!!!!!!!

Once in a lifetime experiences..

Many things are once in a lifetime experiences.

Like one would wish she could go for another competition with ensemble, orchestra or even choir again. But being out of practice, and commited to work makes it low priority and hence nil.

It will also be great to have another exchange at waterloo again, the sweet old days with arch, my roommate, but things would be different. We've all grown up. Arch is now steadily attached. Now longer the innocent and playful us anymore. Even if i make a trip back to ontario, it will not be the same. No loving boyfriend in Vancouver, not the same at all.

Hence, one has to look forward. Look forward to the changes at work. Look forward to more opportunities and even more once in a lifetime experiences ahead. Cos you're never fourteen years, twenty one days, five hours old again.

Carpe Diem!

Christmas

Hmm.. I'm spending Christmas desperately trying to get over the unhappiness at work. To make it sound bad, its more like i'm bullied. But how so? She just got married, He just got an operation, still on MC, and he's always on site, the other's always complaining, I seem to be the only one left! To organise a party for 200. -.-

I need to pick myself up from that dump, see it in a brighter light and have fun at it! Its supposed to be fun. I'm sure my dear friend will come in VERY HELPFUL. Yes, i'm gng to look forward to that. She's innocently involved, surely will bring in loads of light-hearted spirit! I'm counting on you, dear friend!

HAha, i want to show u my pearl from Japan but absolutely lazy to upload it :P, maybe next next time. Mummy says its pink, although it looks white to me. (PINK is my fav. colour did you know? :P) It does look pink next to her chain of pink pearls, so ya, its a pink tinted pearl. :)

Okay... i got long story de, but sm called just, so i'm gng out to play le! update again later! :P

Chalet

Has anybody ever used the word "PERFECT" to describe a chalet? Yes, I just had the perfect chalet of my life!

It's like dreams come true with the choral version (Sop and Alto) of 'Joy to the world', so random yet so rehearsed! Catching up with a pri sch mate and feeling like it was YESTERDAY that we last talked!

Top it up with my favourite BK breakfast with syrup hashbrowns, unlimited rounds of mahjong and bridge and Awfully Chocolate log cake - beat that!

Of course, the above material stuff didn't make things perfect. Its every single soul, the commited guys who BBQed the night away, the commited colleague who brought his gf to help make us salad, the endless flow of alcohol from commited colleagues who failed to make me drunk and ended up playing bridge with me, the commited jy who made sure we had yummy bacon w/ mushrooms, and last but not least the commited girl who just wants her dearest to get over unhappiness! All positive energies combined, into a very PERFECT chalet!

Top it all off, i felt that almost every single soul received their greatest gift ever along with the gift exchange that ensued. It seems like nature has a way of working itself into randomness to help every single soul attain their greatest and sweetest evening ever!

Thank you Mother Nature! (and all my friends of course!)

Ofx...

Meanwhile, loads are happening in ofx. I'm expecting alot more excitement next two weeks, what with our department's Christmas celebration and new Year eve's celebrations, things are really hyped!

We actually had a recent decorate the ofx competition and had 3 very beautiful creations:
1) a candy shop
2) superheroes
3) Disney
Themed.
there was life sized super heroes and actual room decorated into a very decent shop! totally like magicland!

How exciting! :D

The Royal Carribean

Wow, i just returned from cruise and didn't expect to feel this back to land reality so strong. haha.

Its a very old ship (40 years?) but the crew made the trip all too perfect. Live music completed the heavens throughout the entire stay on board. What with Linda Gentille entertaining mummy, ya, its very impt my mummy enjoys it, else its not worth my effort. :P

I LURRRRRVE the OCEAN! ahha.... when i was little, i tot i could be a sailor. Now, i dun even know what a sailor does! lol...

Anw, this post gotta be short, cos my life is too BUSY now. Nonono.. not busy with work, but all the activities after work, cycling, blading, ktv, and what not.... totally knocking me out! So, bits and pieces will come in when i'm sane. :)

Have a great holidays!

My colleague consoled..

that not all the good men are married, the good men are not married cos they have higher expectations so...

1) those taken are men with low expectations,
2) its not too late to look now

:)

how positive. I like it :)

with no expectations,

comes no disappointments..

this is the best weekend ever, cos i've never looked fwd to a weekend more! Weird isn't it?

I loved work so much i never looked fwd to weekend. I wonder if its really just cos my boss is so nice. Cos he was away this week, so it got horrendous?

I"m so glad I made a recent decision to emphasize on my personal motto "To put family before work". Basically not sacrificing family for work. Essentially, the quality I'm looking for in my mate- if there exists one.

I've been gloating over how a colleague and I has been analysing another colleague and immediately eliminated him from the prospective list to the barred list over a cup of tea. lol...

The arrow collector

I'm the arrow collector
Red(PC) arrows, blue(proj.) arrows, all sorts of arrows
Long arrows(from lvl18), short arrows(from lvl22), all sizes of arrows
I collect them despite their freshness or staleness.

I'm the arrow collector
Fast arrows slow arrows all taken by me
Even invisible arrows and transperant arrows all come to me
I'm such a great arrow collector

Some arrows required immediate fixing
Some arrows can be left alone for awhile
Other arrows needs lots of planning for
While some others just needs to be over and done with.

This is my arrow story
For I am the arrow collector

:P

Music Therapy

Music's Therapeutic isn't it?

Sometimes i wonder, how lasting the effects of listening to a piece of music can be?

Certainly it will depend on the piece of music, some pieces instil a greater relation to oneself, others simply creates such noise that rings even when the music has stopped.

I read somewhere, that Mozart's pieces are so in sync with the harmonics of the Mother Earth that it stays in everyone's soul, touches the soul and stays put. Nowadays, impressionistic music gets so abstract, I wonder how they leave an impression without a theme?

I think, impressionistic music tends to paint. It leaves a feeling, that if effective, should last. Or rather, it is soothing enough to calm to vexed soul, as once a soul is calmed, it takes more to vex it. Let's hope these music i'm listening to will hone my sound slp tonight, as yesterday's wasn't restful.

I will SURVIVE.

I'm single and working.

I can do it.

I can figure out the dBm, dBi and how they affect the antenna range.

I will be able to find a good teacher to teach me those sensors and systems and how they work.

Thank you!!!

P.S. and I will find the man who loves me with his life and wholeheartedly and is willing to build a stable family with me EVENTUALLY.

Lunch time w..

uncles and to-be uncles..

They talk about...
how to emotionally prepare for marriage?
and...

a backup plan for marriage?!?! - backup hotel, car, etc. backup wife?!!!

preventive maintenance for wives : facial, massage etc. :P

corrective maintenance for marriage : divorce, get a vietname bride
and...

can you change the names of your ROM booking last min? :O

while i'm still here... staring SINGLE....

eeyore is tempermental..

eeyore says..
"dun spread to me"
eeyore says..
"i wan hughug!!!"
eeyore says..
"ee... your nose leek water!!!"

White Version of Burbur Hitam

What do you call that white version of bur bur hitam?

I have a strong craving for that NOW!!!!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!

But I'm happy :D

I like to have no expectations. and JUST DO IT!
hah!
it's fuN!

Looking forward to everything!!!

Werkkkk...

oh, so much work!!!!!!!!

I'm working TODAY!!?!?! :O nooo...

no lah, just ALOT of reading to catch up b4 tmr arrives... -.-

will have fun ltr! :D

Sometimes i wish,

i grew spikes all over my body.

So the stupid uncle won't stand so close on the bus
And his elbow won't hit my side when he attempts to reach his back pocket
and his butt/leg/bag won't brush against my butt

Sometimes i hate public tpt.

Wishful Wacky Wilful Wonderful Week

I did many firsts this week. [In chronological order.]

My first birthday as a working girl.
My first Banana Republic cardigan.
My first visit to Jiaxiang noodle house.
My first birthday surprise of my life.
My first birthday that i couldn't stop smiling throughout the day!

My first trip to Hard Rock Cafe Singapore.
My first time being on stage on a birthday.
My first vomit after liquor of my life. (I'm hoping it'd be the last too)
My first MOST enjoyable night dancing away to loud music.

My first time on the Circle Line.
My first time shopping for clothes with my cousin.
My first time eating J-mini.

To all who has spent such a special week with me, thank you for warming my heart...

THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The dialogue..

How long has it been?
Been? Since what?
Since I celebrated my birthday a single girl?
haha.. cannot remember leiz... erz.. 8 yrs? nono, 6 yrs?
Hm... I cant imagine how i celebrated my birthdays before that...
you can la.. just with ur family dinner lorz.. sometimes you just stay home the whole day on bday itself...
Oh yes.. i kind of recall now.. how sad?
no la, not exactly sad isn't it? i think you just didn't like it.. cos you have to more or less organise it for yourself!
Hannor, i mean, its my bday! i just want pple to do the planning and point me arnd! :O

Anw, let's have a little bit of nostalgia talk ok?
ya, i know, you're feelign nostalgic...
Hmm.. I so deeply remember my 21st...
yep yep.. lengz called all the way from Aussie!
And xy sent such a lovely gift "project" from US! GosH!
I felt like the WORLD is celebrating my bday..
and Hc and TY, oh i was so glad to see them!
to play the cello for them, even though ty criticised like mad..
yes.. it was such a sweet bday.. i thought bday at timbre was sweet too...
true.. i think i loved timbre after that! haha...
yea, what abt the one at M hotel?
oh was that my bday too? i'm mixed up.. or was it the one at Hong Xin dim sum?
Ah, you loved that! the tripe to the museum, you always loved the museum! :D
i do!~ haha, we've recounted like 4 so far, i seriously think i prefer to be attached..
silly girl, you will be, enjoy being single, haven't you had loads of fun so far?
ya, and my fair share of heartaches and pains too.. :(
without someone to hug when you're truly deeply down...
i remember one birthday i went to ubin!
haha, and then you fell in love with ubin!
ya! that was the same day i went to Meritus too! Chatterbox! ahaha...
so lovely isn't it? birthdays with your loved ones..
it is! they put in such effort and treats, so.. i shall say to myself
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :P

-too slpy to continue-

I meant to write..

a little dialogue.. but let me get over the euphoria first..

a little gift, okay, not little leiz, its quite pricey, came in a box like 0.5m x 0.4m. So, okay, rewrite, i big gift, an sms that came at 9.48pm, which i only read at 10.33pm. So i think he waited for like 1 hour?

ya, i lazy to take photo ok? i just describe. Its a big red box, with a stretch of wrapping paper as ribbon across and a little golden string over the paper and then a little heart-shaped icon.

Items inside are a card, a pack of hersheys chocolate, and the banana republic cardigan which i totally love cos the design is just so great!

Birthday Wish Number THREE

Can I have a new pair of earrings to go with my work clothes too? :D

Pretty please? :P

Why are you so confident?

That I'd find someone!? That'd we'd ALL find someone!?

By this Dec? - almost not working out!

Guys, TOTALLY DO NOT have INITIATIVE!
urgh, hate guys w/o initiative.

What?!

I'm gng crazy!

From what?

God knows what!

No life!

leng, COME BACK!

daddy's girl

saw at HK cafe, a sec sch girl in uniform hooked to her dad's arm walk in arm-in-arm...

-so sweet!-

Weight Loss - follow up

It seems a little hard to keep to certain of my specified programme.

Therefore, for the rest of this week, I shall attempt to enforce just ONE item first. One step at a time.

Sleep > 6 hours every day.

That is, I must sleep before 11pm daily.

Birthday Wish Number TWO

Item Desc:
A device that plugs into my mp3 player and amplifies the sound to fill my room.

Item Requirements:
No external power required.
Size < 3cm x 3cm x 3cm.
Pink/White in colour.

Weight Loss

I need to lose the weight I've gained since Feb. And Fast! Hate it when I cannot fit in the clothes i have. So here goes the weight loss program:

1 chocolate / mth
1 cake / mth
1 dessert (non-cake/chocolate/ice-cream) / mth
1 ice-cream / mth

breakfast - no more than two slices of toast qty
lunch - no more than 3/4 chicken rice qty

take stairs if going up/down < 3 storeys
take escalator if gng up/down < 5 storeys
take dinner > 2 hours before bed time
take overhead bridge instead of traffic light whenever possible

No sitting on buses
No more alcohol
No buffet
Sleep > 6 hours daily


TBC... when I can think of more creative ways to slim down

lose 0.5kg by 25th Sept 2009
lose 1 kg by 3rd Oct 2009
lose 1.5kg by 10th Oct 2009
lose 2kg by 17th Oct 2009
lose 2.5kg by 24th Oct 2009

Aim : lose 3kg before 15th Nov 2009
Follow-up : To weigh every WEEK so as to adjust accordingly should there be weight gain.

Sucks la, why must i realise that i'm FAT just b4 the impt month?!?!?

Starhub No Rewards?

Ok. I'm abit pissed. Been at the starhub page today and couldn't find any redemption possible for food/dining/shopping?! onli techie stuff like mobile plans and accessories!?

What happened to my Haagen Dagz?

Silver Week

As we're gloating over our looooong weekend in Singapore thanks to Hari Raya Puasa, in the other side of the globe, the Japanese are travelling all over the country on this very same week they term the 'Silver Week'!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silver_Week

Yea, and it was the first time i talked to my cousin over MSN that I found that out. :P

Jokes - no second chance

A close friend of mine sent me an email that had so many humourous sentences i couldn't help laughing out loud in front of the screen.

It was such a cure to my boring days in course and tiring knowledge absorption. I was then thinking how great it were if i kept the email and take it out to read whenever I'm bored/down.

Then it took awhile longer for me to realise, reading it a 2nd time will not bring about as comical a reaction as the first.

In the world of mine, there's no second chances.

Sparks of light

Sparks of light appear,
In dreams that seemed so real.
Looking ahead to the next,
With hope one can create.

Sparks of light surface,
This life filled with amaze.
Looking forward every day,
No matter come what may.

Sparks of light realise,
From dreams to homegrown rice.
Dreams true to the heart,
Keeps oneself working hard.

Birthday Wish Number ONE

http://www.farmacia-online.it/vendita_e_commerce/details.aspx?prod=281&cat=211

In the dark

In the dark,
She dreams of an art.
Endlessly searching,
Timelessly dreaming.

In the dark,
She hopes for a park.
Grasses evergreen,
Lusciousness gleam.

In the dark,
She prays very hard.
For a time,
To be defined.

Grad photos

For the friends who wants them..

The Fortress

When a heart is insecure,
A fortress built as it endures,
All pain within the mighty walls,
Thus high it stays away from all.

With warmth things turns around,
Heart opens up to that surround;
Explores recklessly it does,
The joy outside here it must.

-- A rare sleepless night, 12 July 0630, photo courtesy of PS, from Salzburg, of the Salzburg fortress

Marry the one YOU LOVE

Okay, I've decided. I cannot marry someone I do not love. :P

FOOD...

Attended some soft opening on Sunday. That's where we had the desserts, at Cathay.

The other dish was at the Jap restaurant at B1.

A very touching present..

A book on Fashion Design, a slice of my dreams;
Wrapped in butterfly textured design chosen with care;
Notice the initials and the pink ribbony things?
This work of art simply touches my heart,
From an engineer so rare.

Marry Me...

If I cannot marry someone I love,

Can I marry someone I do not love then?

Should I blog?

Hmm.. am I supposed to blog? I'm so confused. The mix of feelings in within, anger, fury, patience, peace, stability, happiness, all kinds of sentiments, all mixed up, makes me unable to blog.

My room's in a mess. From the warzone of yday's remnants.

Every weekend is so special, so unique, so different. Love the variety.

I should say all i remember of the concert. It may be my last. Who knows? I might not live long.

My first memory being that violas entry stunned me. Of course, dun expect too much from an ill rehearsed alumni group. But as far as memory ...

URGH.. i dun want to blog ok?

Can you teach me how to stop being ANGRY?

Hugs..

I received a loooong sms from a great friend yesterday, analysing the different kinds of hugs one may receive.

Her analysis was rather complicated to begin with, therefore, i didn't quite understand parts of it. So here comes my comprehension of her analysis.

If you love two person the same way, you will be equally satisfied by both their hugs.

If you're yearning for a bf hug, but you do not have a bf, then you're really yearning for the bf not the hug.

That's all I comprehended. Lol.. Probably i was too devastated, or I was just too sleepy to go analyse, her analysis. Hope I got at least half ur idea correct! :)

Finally Understand..

I think I can finally understand, as what some people sometimes claim, even if they marry another, they will still be in love with the one.

But it is truly only that another, that they can honour the rest of their lives with.

What CRAP! I still totally dun believe that.


I believe one should only marry the one you love, as only love can conquer human's natural faults and weaknesses.

Even as pain dissipates,
Love does not diminishes.
Even as mum discourage,
This love does not finishes.

With care a friend says,
Someone new will come your way.
This new one will aid,
And have the old love fade.

Sincerely hope that you find,
The very one to live your life.
From now till eternity,
In bliss and everlasting.

Waterloo Days..

Its interesting how after I left Waterloo I nv really missed it until now. The days in Waterloo deeply etched in my memories, I get flashbacks of this bar that I pass by everyday on my walk to UWAT. Flashbacks of Conestoga Mall, Fairview Mall, even the names of the malls, the layout, are deeply ingrained and comes back NOW. Why now? Why did the beginning of this adult life spark my memories of Waterloo? Waterloo seemed like a ridiculous dream, something that nv seemed possible even till I was there, I amaze myself daily at the Queen size bed, my own HOME, staying in the basement, a large living room, i can remember every single nitty witty detail.

Which leads me to the topic of ADHD. Leng says now she knows why i remember all those rubbish she doesn't. The horse we saw at birmingham castle. The leaf I picked up along stratford-upon-avon. So what if I'm ADHD? Its really full of pros and cons. I miss my bus-stop, just cos my face is glued to tv mobile, or i was simply concentrating on some other distration. Yes, ADHD pple are constantly distracted. I phase out, although I try so hard to pay attention. No wonder lectures dun work for me. Sigh.. I wonder how relieved I should be? Guess, I can only be thankful to my mother who put so much order in my life that I learnt to overcome certain of my ADHD flaws..

Did this Quiz..

Your Results


Narrow Top & Full Bottom
Characteristics of Your Body Type
You have a small to medium build, with delicate-looking shoulders that are significantly narrower than your hips. Your bustline is small to average and you have a very slender upper body. Your waist is small and defined, flaring out to full hips. You have a rounded bottom and full legs.


Best Tops & Stockists
Fitted Cotton or Linen Shirts
Horizontal or Herringbone-Striped Tops
Boatnecks and Off-Shoulders
Halter Tops

Best Pants & Stockists
Straight-Cuts
Boot-Cuts
Flares

Best Skirts & Stockists
A-Line Skirts
Sarong Skirts

Best Dresses & Stockists
Empire Dresses

A break up

As many others already are mentioning,
A wedding isn't the end but beginning.
One may eventually wonder,
Is breaking up the former or latter?

The end of true love,
The beginning of lost belief.
The start of heartbreak,
The close of sweet nothings.

The spark of a chain of painful memories,
The end of a list of rooted expectations.
A breakup ends the hopes of possible marriage,
Yet opens up hopes of new found soulmates.

Just like a wedding,
Breakup signifies both closure and fresh life.

a rectangular with two holes

I CANNOT BELIEVE,

i just BOUGHT a RECTANGULAR CLOTH with TWO HOLES

unbelievable. lol.. it hung so deliciously on the hangar.. the design seemed so fashionable, but can you imagine, its actually just A PIECE OF RECTANGULAR CLOTH WITH TWO HOLES.

lol... Sorry, its very empty and anti-climax. But this fact simply appalled me.

Working life..

I'm afraid to say I'm still too new at work to comment on working life. I still feel like a child. Being taught, discovering things day-to-day, being guided and shown the way and sheltered and taken care of.

Yes, I want to be exposed and to learn. I told myself umpteenth times that I will have to learn to take setbacks. And I know they are coming. Already I have left my tongue loose itself. Very minor mistakes for now but I gotta gambatte!

I'm not here to blog abt work. I mean to tell everyone abt yesterday. My night at the arts house. My first night there. It was quite amazing. Having been in NUS hole and then home hole and now work hole, I haven't been to such-like events for forever! But its great. It feels natural as I was with someone whom understands, sees and emphatises. How many girls can do that? Its difficult. I had a hard time finding someone who I can share such deep dark thoughts. Someone who wouldn't be polluted yet EMPHATISE.

It was the art's house's anniversary. We started with wine. (wine on empty stomach, totally mad to me) I chose white, her, red. Then visited the photo exhibition. They had photos that were see through. So you can see it either side. She sees such a change in me. I didn't even realise the change. The change since Waterloo. The change after I start work. She takes it all in. Yet I do not realise. My moods are so transperant to her. I only feel the same old me, we are still, aren't we? The same old us. The change is good. All for the better. Of course, only she can see the joy in me, cos only she has seen the darkness in within.

Anw, photo exhibition and wine was followed by a buffet dinner. I loved the salmon sashimi, she loved the deep fried triangular thingy (what's it CALLED!??!?! EDIT: Samosa). Haha.. And I made rojak for both of us. It was too salty I feel, she haven't had it for so very loooong..

That was followed by this film on Chek Jawa. A very touching film. I must go in the next few months. We must. Let's GO!

It was a very dramatic night (especially for her) cos I was such a drama mama. lol. Its good. After letting it all out, all that drama, I felt alot better. Was finally able to tone down. Like NOW.. i can, be mild.. relax and work.. :)

To e SE gals..

I dun think you would remember, cos I was the one who organised the bbq 9 yrs ago and the one who called each and every senior/alumni up to ask if they'd come.

So this colleague who's in my team, is actually this long lost senior of mine and so amazingly direct senior somemore! I think I was just meant to go there to give her the updates on SE, the pple etc... WOAH! Isn't life amazing? (Makes me recall 5 yrs ago, i had a whole bunch of pple from Nehru complaining that I go everywhere also know SOMEONE de...)

Yah, I actually approached her today after thinking thru for a day (my first day) if she can really be that senior from so long ago.. (I was trying to match her voice to that of 11 yrs ago actaully, and i couldn't match - due to lack of data lol..) its like after 10 yrs, although look familiar but you cannot be sure? Moreover, I didn't see her often 10 yr ago either! She mentioned that I looked familiar to her but she couldn't put my face to VJ.

So today we talked alot abt pple, pple she's lost contact with etc... yea and she's interested to watch us on May 16th! Haha.. I'd tell you more if you perform/attend :P

P.S. She says I still look e same. After 10 yrs lorz.. does that mean... I look like sec sch girl or I used to look like an adult during sec sch? LOL...

First Day of Work

I think i must blog this. Cos I'm sure 10-20-50 years down the road, i'd be thinking back wondering how my first day went. (Also cos i received so many smses asking this same qn i might as well blog it)

I'd say I was very much jaded/dazed. Due to lack of slp and waking up in the wee hours(5.30am). Was early(7.50am), thus sat at the reception to wait for the Admin Staff to come(8.30am). (meanwhile I read a fiction bk - Sunday Philosophy Club) Saw pple enter the building, external vendors, a bunch of interns. Two other pple shared the first day of work with me. The admin staff brought us to get their pass (mine wasn't ready), and apply for laptop then showed us to our respective superiors(Mine first). My boss went something like 'has she seen her desk? (No-admin lady) I'd see her later then'. The admin lady heard 'has she seen her desk? (Yes-admin lady) Ok. I'd talk to her later'. Admin lady asked me to wait to later to look for my boss. So I was very confused. 1) No pass. 2) Nothing to do. 3) In a strange place.

Anw, the HR realised that I needed a temp pass anw, so sent me back BY MYSELF to collect a temp pass. Anw, to spare you of the agony of detailed reporting of my day, let me just summarise.

My boss brought me around to meet some colleagues. (My buddy was supposed to do so but she was on leave/MC therefore couldn't). He just went cubicle after cubicle introducing the pple's names. And i'd go shaking hands, wondering what they do, what's their rank, married or not etc. (It was comparatively less informative as I recalled during internship at Science Park I had an exciting introduction to the pple around). My boss assigned me a project, but the scope was generally internet research for the rest of the week, so since I 1) no laptop 2) no pass, I couldn't work on ANYTHING AT ALL. Feeling abit intruding (as I think i'm taking up too much of my boss' time), I told him I'd do my own stuff while waiting for laptop etc. (He did mention he'd try to find stuff for me to read, but to no avail. He IS VERY busy la). First day, I found the bosses abit intimidating, but Second day, it was easier, he's a very kind and helpful boss I gathered.

I am assigned a room to share with another lady. I actually like being in the room, despite having to share the same table. Its quite a big table anw. But first day the lady sharing the room with me was on MC. So I was really alone in the room. And of course a little lonely. I walked abt e room, looked out the huge piece of glass window down 23 storeys and across to CTE... Today I saw the Chinook fly past! Closely followed by another helicopter, is it the F50? First day I wasn't too happy abt the gather of rubbish around my assigned cabinet, but it got cleared today. So happy! Yea, I found the most comfortable spot on the table and set my laptop station very neatly le. Settled my stationeries too. My roommate showed me e stationery cupboard! And many other things (filing work hours, applying leave etc...)

On the first day, I felt very ermz.. shy? Like very different! Suddenly I'm entering this life that seems to belong to everyone around me! Adults! I dunno how I should behave. Lunch was ok. The adults were talking. Most of it I understood half. Only the rat incident and the Farm Trip did I understand more clearly. (And today I got updated that the rat incident occured last week) Yah, didn't talk to anyone really. Just intro and that's it. At most they asked abt my sch.

Weirdest was the meeting with the big boss. He didn't have much to tell me. He asked what I liked to do. Urgh! I think i'm getting sick of being asked THAT! lol... But he's nice la, keeps saying that I can always feedback and they can always try to let me do things that I like?! :O You've already done so. You gave me a job! Haha.. I told him I org. wanted to do programming in XXXX. But I'm open, ya know. Felt a little awkward, as it seems the bosses do not know my background. I like it that they do not know my bg so they won't treat me different. But I dun like it cos they cannot understand the crap the BOARD has given me the past 3 mths. Nvm. Its over. Yea, I generally felt uncomfortable with bosses, cos they're supposed to be scary creatures la. They're big and tall and old and men. But less today. Guess yday I was still grappling with the switch in environment. Today I'm better.

So the first day was alot of waiting (waited till 2.30pm to get my pass then my laptop, cos laptop is essentially unwired unless I have my pass). So after I got my laptop, things started moving a little, I realised there's ALOT to do. I started to understand abit more of what some of them talked to me about. btw, HR gave me more WORK to do than my boss. Just imagine that.

And when I went off at 6.05pm, I wondered if I should say bye to my boss(or even some of my colleagues). But didn't. Dunno, just felt strange. I duno what to do and there's no one to tell me.

P.S. My boss' first statement to me was a qn. "So what do you know abt the organisational structure?" (and i told him) he said "ya, that's actually pretty accurate". (well, what do you expect? It was drilled in since 1) 2005 (once) 2) Internship (a few times) 3) Employment Agreement (again)

Inconsiderate SG pple

This old man was travelling on bus number 33 from Kent Ridge to Bedok on the 11pm bus. He's so inconsiderate, I got so pissed I decided to take this photo to show the WORLD how inconsiderate old men can be. He put his dirty shoes on the bus' HANDLE BAR!!! man, can you imagine? Now I'm gng to be afraid of touching that handle bar EVER!

Food For Thought

Totally love the art of the door. Quite attractive isn't it? Too bad the sandwich leng had wasn't totally yummy... Plus the prices of the rest of the food's quite ex too... well, at least we had our consolation in the red velvet cake.. :P

Artistic Sight..

Think this was quite a sight... An after rain walk along Meridian and you get this. Dun you think its very artsy the umbrellas arranged this way? It was a lovely walk down... :) My first too! Rather surprised, maybe I never noticed in the past... too caught up in NUS humdrum... :(

Nice BAG!

Haha.. i'm so sneaky.. was getting bored waiting for bus.. then this girl kept hovering in front of me with this totally awesome classy bag!!!!

I dun need a bag.

Nobody Understands...

Nobody, NOBODY at all, understands my plight.

They are even happy that I do not have a job. How evil. If i start working, they expect a treat. Now that I dun have a job, happier they are. Evil humans.

They think they're consoling me. They ask me to appreciate the free time I have. That I will never have such a free time. Yea. These pple born with a silver spoon in their mouth. Do not know the hardships of survival. Struggling to pay for the next meal. Worrying over the next few days. Desperately in need of an income.

Pple who sign bond for the free tuition overseas. Only wanting to tour they graduation year away. Will never understand someone like me. Who even before graduating, even before the last semester already desperately in need of the job. The income. I have a family to support. You have a family to support you. Of course you wouldn't understand.

New DHS

As much as i hated my times there... I went back.

Gng back now, at this age, at the stage in life, feels totally detached. I dun feel anything for the building we used to study at. Dun feel anything for the new addition to the canteen nor the new block for the IP progarm either.

As usual, they're preparing for the SYF, this time at a new location. Pple suspect its due to the recession they're locating it at Republic Poly. A sucky hall with lots of edges that cannnot give a ROUND sound. Ok. I take that back. The hall is NOT THAT BAD.

Re-picking up the cello marmee Starcie lent to me.. it seems like skills lost and aim missing. Will alumni item be manageable? We're definitely not as competent as our juniors who've been so much in touch with their instruments. And even they are alumni already. Can you believe how VERY OLD we are?!

Ok la, maybe starting with Bach Suites is indeed a little too ambitious. I'm just lazy to dig out the other practice pieces. Most of which I would've played before? Either way, its hard to even last 1 hour of practice without my fingers turning red and black... And I WANT to play Bach suite! I hope this month is sufficient to get my fingers back to performance/competition condition.

An amazing night..

We had the most amazing night ever. It was a very very short meet up, as short as the time that took to finish a glass of long island. But it was so close, so comfy, I felt so comforted so taken care of, so like a little girl again to my mamas... The mama who asks me to move on, and the mama who tells me to believe that things will only get better...

The two mamas haven't met for so long! 6/4 yrs? omg... and we talked like we were having our first meeting in sec 3.. so much hope, so full of the future, so sure of ourselves, yes, that's what we were? except roles abit changed. :P And so many exchanges so many complaints, complaints that never changed, but just the environment or object of complaint changed. pple will keep disappointing us, pple will keep bullying us and we somehow allow them to do so, so that we can weep into each other and comfort one another?

I thought alot of course, i always think alot, if not stopped, i think too much. But the general feel was so great. Its gng to be the meeting of a lifetime i feel. Just like the one we had on boxing day. Meeting of a lifetime, you cannot lose that feeling even if its ten years later. Have you ever felt this way?

I cannot buy anything!!!! :'(

The worse thing about having NO INCOME is that I stopped all my buying. Like I saw this SET of really fashionable clothes, trendy tee and slimming tights.. but is not CAPABLE of buying! I cannot afford to spend on any piece of clothing when I'm struggling to pay for the next meal.

Sigh.. who can buy for me? Please.. i really love that tee and tights from Fox.. oh please.. will you buy for me please???? :(

He's just NOT that into ME

yah.. so you know, if the guy's really interested, he'd come for ya? At least that's one of the points made in that movie.. which I later added-on for leng - provided He's American. So it doesn't exactly work for Asians? Cos unlike the westerners, Asians are simply TOO shy? poor, pitiful Asian girls and pathetic Asian boys. Think both sides want the best of -sexual equality- which totally contradicts itself in its own way.

So stop sitting around the phone, start attempting for the 100th time to MOVE ON, and erz.. never give up on love? sorry its hard for someone to come to terms with that. never give up? after exp. so much, seeing so much, hearing so much, talking so much, i'm not so sure about never giving up. In fact, I have put an expiry date on it already!

yah! if he's into you, he'd want to make you happy? the exception in the show was he was willing to marry her to make her happy? but the other who was forced to marry didn't turn out well? so what does it say anyway?

All in all, I concluded:
you're neither the exception nor the rule, just unique

that certainly doesn't help does it? well, pathetic as love may seem, the movie's good and great with the amazing chemistry and star work.

The mistletoe

Its curious how I could have lived so many years and not know that this plant I see decorating restaurants and shopping centres to be the mistletoe!

Even after singing about it in Choir three years ago, I didn't bother asking what it was and why mummy has to kiss Santa under it. Only today that I decided to do a little research, that I realised the significance and tradition behind it.

From what I've read, kissing under the mistletoe promises good luck in love. They say a maiden who's not been kissed under the mistletoe will not find love for a year while one who has will. Anw, there's also the tradition that if the guy kisses under the mistletoe, he is to remove one berry from it. So when the mistletoe eventually becomes bare, you're not supposed to kiss under it.

Anw, its interesting how this lovey dovey thing actually relates to today. Valentine's day. Haha.. all lovey dovey.

IPL/laser

I didn't mean to post that. Too lengthy. Sorry.

Anw, I did some research yesterday on permanent hair removal. Haha. i'm just lazy la. All the weekly removal can get quite tedious when things get too busy. So I very innocently believed that there was such a thing.

To my disappointment, my research online stated clearly that permanent hair removal isn't exactly forever. It just lasts longer than the usual hair growth cycle (1 week). So IPL and laser takes about 1yr/a few years for hair to regrow but its not permanent.

If you're rich, go ahead. To me, its financially not worthy, so to quote another friend of mine, 'you cant be lazy if you want to look good'.

When i was 7..

sitting in my uncle's car... alone at the backseat.. i remembered so vividly i thought to myself, i want to grow up, when i do grow up i will never wish i was young again. That was when I couldn't have the freedom to be alone. To take care of myself. To be trusted to take care of myself. I felt manipulated, I had to go where my uncle went, following them, didn't have my own choice, my cousins dun know how fortunate they are.

Now at 24, I'm afraid I'm gng to start wishing I would stop growing old. Emotionally, mentally, I'm beginning to feel 40, if not 50. Well, I won't bite my own 7 yr-old-words. I do not wish to become that little. But I just want to stop here. Dun grow any older. This is the first year, of all years that my relatives chased me to get married. This is the first year of all years, my mother insisted that I need to marry. Soon. Even without all these reminders, I've already started worrying on my own. Seeing the ageing face in the mirror every morning, knowing it will never be the same. Never be that beautiful young girl.

I knew what I wanted since I was in secondary school. I knew what I was looking for by the time i completed my O levels. I know more or less in blurred images the future i needed to lead a happy life. And it hasn't changed since then. I have heard ladies of 30 warn me during my teen my ideals will change after 22/23. But no. Mine hasn't and I believe will not change in the future. Maybe I won't be a total stay at home mum. But definitely I want to care for my own kids. With a man I love. At least, I need a loving husband, someone who comes home daily to relax and appreciate his home. I am now more aware of the baby gooey that comes with family. I told someone I didn't mind not having kids. But certainly, I need someone who can afford to spend precious evenings together, and active weekends alive. Not the bankers(etc..) who work their hells Mon-Fri and get so shagged they sleep their weekends away.

It seems that little expectation of mine is overboard. To many. I nv asked for riches and wealth. Never asked for gucci and armani. Never asked for roses and houses. Just TIME. :'( It's that hard isn't it? Part of being Singaporean? Or just living in this society? The minimal i need is time. Yet some like to replace it with lavish gifts. It doesn't make up. Nothing can make up for lost time. TIME is so precious, ever since secondary school. Where I first had control of my own time. You have to know the feeling of having no control of your time to understand this. Bet very few will. Hurting as it might be. I have to live with it.

No pictures...

Sorry readers, no current pictures of my life. Think I'm in this weird mood that's suddenly totally not into pictures.

I had this weird friend who referred me to True Fitness and I went TODAY. The worst part abt this weird friend is he wants to keep annonymity and worse worse the consultant told me he spelt my name wrongly! URGH! That's why guys are a whole disappointing lot.

Anw, I toured the WHOLE gym with her introducing the equipments and trying to entice me to joining. In the past, all such equipments used to intrigue me. I'd think they're so fun! But now, its different. I think I know myself better. I wouldn't do it. Not alone. Not enough discipline also. And very shy gng to this big place with so many pple I totally do not know! Very SCARY!

Ah, I know. I know why i'm not into pictures. Cos no money to go for fun meals with interesting food! haha.. sorry! Pray hard that I find work soon ok?

I know its missing..

it hit me when she exclaimed 'But we just talked yesterday!'..

I just couldn't fill her in enough. I needed her to KNOW. Somehow I think she already DOES. But I had to make sure she didn't get it wrong!

And now she's in Malaysia, Borneo? I just need someone to talk to! There's too many things missing, over-flowing and breaking. I have to tell her. Or HER.

I think my patience is GONE. They've worn it out totally. I used to think I'm very patient. But no. To them, to him, I'm NOT.

The human who seemed to love me at times, a month and a half ago, could do without talking to me for a month and a half. He made me wait a month and a half for a phone call that never came. The agency that claims I have to start work a week after my last exams, claims I cannot start work even after waiting for two months plus after my exams.

I've been sitting at home waiting. Of course, i was also reading. When have I ever picked up a book at 2pm and finished it at 10pm? Dinner and lunch and toilet and laundry break inclusive? I could sit there and finish a book without external interruptions. This is so precious. To many others out there, it is. To me, it has become mundane. If i were not waiting, I'm sure I'd do more meaningful stuff. Beside finishing a drama series in two days. Reading a series of FOUR books TWICE. Cleaning up the home dustless. Waiting was all I was doing. Why wasn't I out and about? Because I have nothing to spend. I had to restrict myself to non monetary activities. Cycling costs money, swimming does too. Everything is money. And unfortunately i hate running the only free sport i can imagine doing alone.

The worst part about this waiting is, everyone else is busy. Everyone is at sch or at work. Worse off them at work. I needed to talk and there was no one to turn to. Everyone else was caught up. Everyone I was willing to talk to.

'nuff said.

This book i completed today, in one day is good. I like novels. love romance. I've developed this philosophy on why pple read. Or watch tv for that matter. They want answers. Therefore there are programs or books that some like to read or watch while others doesn't. Different pple want answers for different things. Girls like me want to know the answer to L.O.V.E. Boys want the answer to Adventure. Even in love, pple are looking for different things. That's why some love stories intrigue others while some do not. Like the teenage girls would be into Shopaholic while their mature moms would be into more realistic love story of some middle-aged married woman struggling to find the reason behind her marriage again and finds it despite the lack of adventure or spice in Shopaholic. All that down-to-earth romance wouldn't intrigue teenage girls. And somehow, I've moved there. Its weird isn't it? Books like the Girl-next-door doesn't intrigue me anymore. I want to read about down-to-earth relationships. I want to read about the ONE, relationships where there is the ONE. I want to read about pursuing dreams and succeeding. Becos these are what will spur me on. To L.I.V.E.

Yeah, totally amazing. This blog is about being pro life. So I will only blog when I'm pro life. Recently watched this stupid jap drama about some idiotic guy getting too many chances. I think humans need to realise they NEVER get second chances at their lives. Guys/Men need to realise nothing they do will make up for the things they DIDN'T do.

Of enough. I'm ranting cos I cant find anyone to talk to. But that's enough. Doubt anyone will want to read this either. Ciao.

Archery - Genting

My first time doing archery. Its rather tiring after a dozen arrows. My left arm, i.e. the bow arm, starts to ache. But as I continue onto my 20th arrow, the ache seems to go away as I make futile attempts to aim. There isn't much entertainment in Genting besides arcade, bowling, archery and theme parks. Most pple go there for the casino. I really dislike the smoke over in Genting. Alot of indoor places are smoke filled. Once I entered the lobby of the First World Hotel where we stayed, my eyes started watering. Every morning it happens. And my clothes will stink of smoke after the entire day of walking from First World to Highlands hotel with my uncles and aunt. And snaking in and out of the casino to look for them. Things are half priced there, everything except the shopping. The design actually looks good, but i wouldn't buy at those prices. Food is pretty okay over there. Not totally cheap, but cheaper than SG. We ate at Old Town, can you imagine?! haha.. yummy...

Chin Swee Temple - Genting

This is the temple, the only attraction I know of in Genting. (Cable car's not an attraction since most pple use it as transport) That's where we got our vegetarian food also. Haha.. these photos are really late, was there before new year, am only posting now that new year's almost over...

Vegetarian?!?!? - Genting

So here we have prawns, chicken and barbecued pork. But.. the catch is, they're vegetarian! the prawns taste good, but i wouldn't say the same for chicken and pork. I love chicken, but vegetarian chicken just cannot seem to taste the same! haha.. well, still, a yummy meal. :)

Trout at Sungei Buloh?

Yes, we saw this jumping fish at Sungei Buloh, think its the trout isn't it? Anyway, very interesting trip again. (Some research on Google shows its most likely to be the rainbow trout)

Yummy food @ food court

You can get this at Tampines Mall food court for just 4 bucks! Oh, amazing isn't it? :)

It is very yummy, albeit rather spicy and may scald if you do not let it cool before succumbing it to your tongue. Go for it! :)

A girl so brave

A girl so brave you won't believe
Born in a lioness' den yet lives

Lion fed and lion groomed
Adult she grows then meets her doom

The lion growls and sinks its teeth
The girl hangs on as she breathes

Badly hurt as she may be
She returns hoping to be free

Try as hard as she might
Healing isn't easy fight

Lost her goals and all support
She bravely slowly heals each trot

The lion will strike again she knows
Brave little girl hangs onto hope

The magic of Toothpaste

Never did I realise the effects of tooth paste till my mother suggested I clean my super black earrings. Well, I did it today out of curiousity and woah, amazing, the earrings came out brand new. But since i didn't take the before picture, I decided to work it on my ring. Which isn't black as the earring but I hope it showed a little improvement to at least convince my blog readers to try on their super black whatever.

Before:



The process:



And after! (tadah..):

Another good eating place

I'd like to introduce you to... The hype of HK cafes hasn't truly died down.. so there I was enjoying the yummy pork chop spaghetti along east coast road (next block from Killiney):

At Chinatown Pasar Malam

Quite cool isn't it? I discovered this shop while getting restless and fatigued from walking the long stretches of the 'Hua Shi'. Yeah.. this year isn't very exciting, very few shops and fewer shoppers too... But I wanted to see for myself anyway... I didn't like that I missed it the year I was in Canada. Luckily Vancouver more than made up for that. :) CNY is something you have to experience is be celebrating. Sometimes, as one gets older, one needs more to get into the 'feel' of it.. cos its no longer about angpows and goodies anymore...

I think this is like my best le...

The bowling at Downtown east is quite cool.. you can kind of choose the 'wallpaper' theme and they have pictorials at every shot you make.. that's tuned to the theme you choose...

I choose Vintage the aftershock of Edward's 17th century kind of taste.. :P

I'm not a good bowler but this is one of my bestest score.. so allow me to share my joy with all.. :)

Twilight Series...

Just completed the fourth and last book this morning at 4am!!! Haha.. I remembered I read eclipse till 5am (Saturday) and had to resist the urge to go on as I had family events on both days of the weekend! Seriously, its been a long time since I'm this mad. But either affected by the madness of Bella, or just the refusal to control myself especially when on holiday.. I've been living zombie.

Shall not dwell further on this amazing series.. but touch on my apalling visit to the post centre. Well, I was about to post stuff that cost me only 30 bucks.. but can you imagine postage actually cost more! lol.. Its like, the taxes costing more than an air-ticket...

Well, I've got a yet more appalling story to tell.. Just yesterday, my distant aunt was kind of like so super worried that her son of age 25 will NEVER marry, that she asked me to be her daughter-in-law! Appalling indeed.. she made it sound so real it was hard for me to laugh at the joke.. but yea.. I think parents start to worry.. I think my mother might too, at my inactivity with the opposite 'species' especially since we're at this age where we should be moving towards the big M.

Well, either way, I'm finding it harder and harder to communicate with this opposite 'species' I'm having trouble figuring out why too. But heck it, enjoy life as it is.. all will fall into place.. :)

Where there's a will there's a way..

You wont believe i was so desperate to read the sequeals i went straight to borders first minute of my spare time.. couldn't find it... I was too hungry (after having no apetite for these few days.. was actually glad to be hungry).. so came home..

Think i left out the fact that the day I was looking for popular at bras basah (to buy twilight) I hopped by the national library to pick out three random books. I finished one today after food, deciding I'd check online to see if the library might somehow have new moon. Dun have.

Well, in my desperation, I FOUND THIS:
http://mynewplayground.wordpress.com/e-books-downloads/twilight/

Yes omg.. I'd never imagined I'd be so desperate to resort to reading e books. Things I do when i'm just too free. THe bad thing about ebooks is, you dun get to flip. You kind of get to scroll, ya, that's abt it.

Now, back to my ebook.

Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

Is just so enchanting I'm so sorry to the igakusei who warned me against sleeping late.. I mean, i knew the story from the movie so i just HAD TO GO ON~!

Anyway, the book is so very mesmerising cos Meyer managed to inject humour, mystery, romance, action... i think everything thrilling to me you can think of into her book!!!

And actually to my devastation.. there are like 3 sequeals to Twilight and I think I'm gng to die by the time I finish them all(Or turn vampire)! Haha....

I'm already becoming vampirish.. sleeping so little.. doing so much.. feeling adverse to food.. you know its weird. Cos usually when I didn't sleep enough, I tend to eat more.. today on the contrary, I didn't feel like eating at all! Then again, my appetite all week hasn't been very healthy so.. not too weird after all.

And I just had to highlight the differences just in case in another year's time i end up entangling the movie and the book not knowing which is which anymore! Ahaha... In the book, the girl wasn't so smart, She didn't find out everything via google or some book store in the secluded shopping area. That descendent of the special tribe told her everything! And... she didn't escape via the hotel so easily, she had to wait patiently till the time was right and trick Emmett then run off! There's many more, but overall, I think the movie got the idea, thought I'd say you just have to read the books to fill in all the burning questions about VAMPIRES.

Movies from books..

Oh oh.. before I start on the book, let me first comment on movies that derive from story books. You know, its just a movie, so they tend to have to stick to visual restrictions, time restriction (2-3hour) etc.. so they tend to cut off certain stuff. And to romanticise things, they even change the ending of the books! I remembered clearly that which i watched in Canada, my landlord lent me the book that contained a collection of stories by Somerset Maugham, which I onli read The Painted Veil. In the book, the woman never loved the man, but in the story, she eventually found love! Sigh... I guess, sometimes I prefer to be awaken of reality, but today is not that times... :)

Pple who amazingly live forever..

I've recently came into contact with two such shows that has pple living forever.

First off is the Mummy Returns where Michello Yeoh lives of the lake of everlasting life. Can you imagine a thousand year old girl? Well, at least that's what her daughter's supposed to look like.

I'd say, I see a more REAL situation in Twilight. That Edward Vampire seriously gives off the thousand year feeling! You can feel from the way he speaks and his expression that he's not a 21 yr old! THAT IS WHAT I CALL A MOVIE.

Anw, that's all for now, i'm so fazed with Twilight I went immediately to popular to purchase the book! And I'm so gng to read it now. Ciao! :P

My belated Christmas present..

Came all the way from Boston... All wrapped up.. in.. guess what?

SCOTCH TAPE!!! Omg.. the entire parcel was taped up in transperant tape.. i was still musing over how to open it.. then the great invention came into mind... -pen knife-!!!!

Sakae

Its interesting how expensive Sakae has become... However this trip to Sakae is unlike all the previous ones that were so boring as the food is just so the same!

And the decision to eat there I thought was rather amusing too...
Me: "Why are we walking here? (referring to the food street) Thought you not hungry?"
Her: "Ya horz.. I dunno leiz..."
-Walk Walk-
Me: "Oh, i think there's a sakae at that corner.."
-points- the other party looks
Her: "Really meh? At the corner?"
Me: "Ya! There.."
Her: "Yes! Got sakae lei! See!"
Me: "ya.. I saw.." -duhhed-
Her: "You want to eat sakae ah?"
Me: "I anything one la.. You want to eat sakae anot?"
Her: "Hmm.. I also anything la.."
Her: "Hmm. Let's eat sakae. Ok. Decided. Later we come eat."

We had very very interesting stuff like this smoked salmon with asparagus.. omg.. haha.. somtimes the converter belt can be so fun!



And the surprising thing was... This came to us without us ordering! Haha.. can you imagine? The Red Plate turned cheaper.. but.. but.. less quantity...

Another Drooly picture..

Omg, Has anyone tried the warm chocolate lava at TCC??? Gracious it is so delectable! Even looking at it makes one drool!

Keep active!

I once asked a friend when feeling down, what would she do?

For a question so open-ended, it was quite a surprise that her answer came so straight-forwardly. She said

"I'd keep myself busy"

Yea.. so she didn't elaborate but I didn't suppose she wanted me to probe further. Think its quite self-explanatory, her answer. Keep yourself busy! Do things! Keep occupied! You know, its a little hard for someone jobless, motivationless, goaless...

Think sometimes it can be very difficult to cheer oneself up. I'd suggest talking to friends. But I do even know of pple so dejected that talking to friends sometimes only make the friends concur with her sour situation! OMg.. seriously..

Well, you know, the world is full of unfortunate pple, worse come to worse, I'd say (keep this as last resort), when in shit, think of others in deeper shit. :)

Falling asleep

Have you ever wondered what makes you fall asleep?

THe thought just occured to me yeesterday... I was wondering, what kind of thoughts were floating in my mind the moments before I fall asleep. What kind of thoughts go into the head once it hits the pillow? Somehow I cannot remember. Why is that so?

Do I think of the things that's hurting me? Or do I just think abt things that are sweet to my heart? You know, I tried making an appoint to remember the things that are in my mind last night.. but ta-dah, I've clean forgotten them today. I guess its just a whirlpool of too many thoughts ba... :)

Anyway, great to be able to fall asleep.

New Year

Seriously, its just another day? Why do pple have to make it so super special? What makes just yet another 365 days so super special?

I dunno, why do people have to make resolutions in the New Year? Why do pple have to reminicise about the past? Why brood over whatever's already gone?

I dunno, but I happen to be one such person. Although I do not believe thoroughly in the resolution thing, but a NEW YEAR seriously makes one re think about what has gone over the past year. For me, I actually thought about what has gone past the past year>>S<<.

Since I dun even remember when, from watching tv shows, I have instilled within myself that there exists TRUE LOVE on earth. But you know, TRUE LOVE is merely words, i think I shall bestow it some definition.

TRUE LOVE in what I believe to be the common sense, is everlasting.

TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES.

but how do you know its alive? pple say, when an old man and an old woman goes hand in hand down orchard road, passerby are witnessing TRUE LOVE.

TRUE LOVE INVOLVES HOLDING HANDS.

When the old woman retricts the old man's intake or sugar/salt/coffee/smoke, we say its TRUE LOVE.

TRUE LOVE CARES FOR THE OTHER PARTY'S WELL-BEING.

Such is very very retro true love, how about youngsters? Will youngsters know if they experience true love? I've seen boys gng after ladies. They will be at the ladies' beck and call, go through all to make the lady happy. Does that constitute to true love too? Does gng through the orchard jam just to purchase her favourite dessert and send it to her room constitute to true love? Does buying her romantic chocolate as gift constitute to true love too? How about helping the girl you love prepare for her presentation the next day? Does that sound like true love to you?

Hmm... I guess, true love doesn't count such acts. True love has to be felt. You know, the tv likes to say, songs like to sing.. there's this tingling sensation. But how long can this tingling sensation last? Will you still feel the tingling sensation if your man is so busy and claims he has no time for you? Or when your man begins to find you a burden as he is tired of asking you out and taking the initiative towards you? What happens after that? What can keep two persons, who believe they have found their true love together?

Sigh... big sigh... What happens when you realise the only thing you've lived for doesn't exist?