Departing.. and Reminiscence

One more week left, but today I felt it the most. I'm leaving my mother's home - PC7. It is evident, with the choices I have made, the preferences I have indicated and the modules that interest me. To eleven I will be sent. Unless they resolve their lacking of staff before next May.

Just like how Wan Yin claims she was married away, I'm like the teenager who's eloping with her secret lover. The teenager who was loved and endeared at home. The teenager who was pampered and prided of. How my parent PC brought me up so well. How my coach gave his helping hand everytime I sprained. Even if the road seems misty, my coach provided a comfortable carriage I quickly got used to.

Reminiscising my toddler years in Comms with Yih Luen, how my elder brother Jared held my little hands and led me step-my-step. Thru minute writing, thru analysing EMI/EMC, thru the complicated calculations required for GRCSWG. My teenage cousin Vince then watched as Jared held me, warning me of the exposure that's to come to me. As I entered the doors of Welfare Committee, and sitting inside Management Meeting as a junior. I cannot remember all the ups and downs they saw me thru, but they were there. Every lunch, every badminton session, and that one birthday celebration.

In my pri sch years, my coach let me try many subjects. In Maritime Security with Lye Huat, I was primarily thrown to Ben and Yat Seng. In ISR with Wai Meng, who put so much scrunity on me and so much pressure on himself. The exposure was steep, the equations and technical specifications were too much for me to gobble down but they choked me only for awhile. Time there was too short but I remembered all the good ppl I met who were so patient with my confusion.

I finally found my sec sch years in M&S. The puberty, the growth spurt. The glimpse of management and the face of the cruelities and selfishness of this world. I learnt the most, mastered the most and grasped the most here. Puberty is a phase you make the deepest friends and find the greatest enemies. The face of enemies I'd have to face, continue to face but learnt to manage.

Now it was during my puberty I found my deepest beliefs. What I will now seek to study. What I was born with. Maybe even what I was born to do. Even as I elope with this deep belief, I missed my toddler times, my growth. This is the only time, in spite of being adult, being in charge and being given the choice, you miss your youth. The great innocence, the wonderful support everyone around gives to a great innocence.

I do not know how much damage my growth has put in me. The tendonitris will continue to plague me; I cannot run nor pass rainy days without reminder of it. The sprained ankle returns to haunt as I push myself in ballet. The eczema that spurned out of my puberty stress and this tinnitus that bugs me as I type. The tinnitus that I do not know of the road to recovery. I can only be patient. And proceed with life as normal. Solving things step-by-step as Jared has once taught me. Facing the cruelities of this world Vince has warned me for. I will miss my parent.. my parent PC.. and everyone who was part of my growth.. Thank you all...

Scholarship Award Ceremony

Is something that I think only humans of a certain age and nature would really WANT to go. Its like, even the food doesn't entice me anymore, would rather be home sweet home eating take outs. But nonetheless, it turned out to be a positive experience.

First of course, seeing the undergraduate scholars, those of whom I already could imagine how they'd turn out, was an uplifting experience. Youngsters who don't think they're young, with bright and far-reaching futures performed really well in the dance segment. It was an award winning -Oscars- level kind of performance that kind of sweeps you off your chair.

But the people, its always the ppl that makes your day. The good old DHS senior who only addresses another good old DHS senior by his Chinese name, mind you, not the NRIC dialect name, but the true blue Chinese name. The all so familiar character of the DHS student was rather heart warming.

To top it all off, to share the ceremony and enjoy the performances with a fellow undergraduate turned postgraduate scholar was most precious. Someone who knew how it felt then, someone who had been thru Shatec and sat thru the same undergraduate scholars orientation event, someone who was also once on a certain stage performing for parents and then defence minister, chief executive and directors, was heart-warming.

I now know what I want. If and when I get it, doesn't matter. Most importantly, I'm sure of myself and there's no need for others to push/guide me around anymore.