I believe in Providence...

It's Christmas. No better day to remember Providence.

I believe in Providence, so much so that I abhor how men are such control freaks. Controlling the time they go to the bus stop according to the next bus arrival information, controlling every second of their lives witn the gazillion information available (traffic jam - change routes, mrt accident - change plans, weather report - adjust travel plans).

I wonder how many pple still live in the moment, still live to see surprises and still live to allow for Providence?

Providence is, not asking your colleagues to wait you out for lunch, not arranging to meet anyone, but bump into the very person you've been hoping to lunch with for eons.

Providence is, you were supposed to go to the MRT but discovered the downpour out there and head towards a taxi stand, enroute seeing an old friend and sitting down there and then to catch up.

Providence is, waiting at your hotel room for your boss to finish her phone call, and opening the hotel door as the voices outside sounded familiar and discovering your secondary schoolmate.

This is how amazing Providence is.

God Bless us all, a Merry Christmas.

"I can't believe some pple can be so disorganised!"

Do you know what a best friend's response to this exclamation is?

"Haiz, you're thinking about _____ (him) again?"

This is reading-thoughts to the highest realm. And she says its normal. Even her supervisor can tell. - I don't believe.

In any case, Wicked is GOOD. Is an understatement.

Its the one and only musical that gives humans an euphoria post watching that even someone who doesn't understand English will get. The songs, the emotions, the costume, the crescendo gives it all the Wicked Flavour.

Cos watching from afar really doesn't put you into situation as quickly as downstairs does. We concluded its more worth it to buy front row stall tickets even if it burns 200bucks from our pockets. (And she says 300 bucks per month to drive a car is a waste cos she can use it to shop alot, then again, she spent 300 on two pairs of shoes today! :P Ironicality to the max.)

Komawoyo...

I'm in deep gratitude.. For your putting up with my nonsense.

I know times are tough, even for you and me. I know I've been so snappy, yet you put up with it all. I know I can be so demanding, so difficult, I'm surprised you put up with me. Thank you, its a difficult period, but you don't have to understand. Even though you don't understand, you put up with me. Thank you.

Yes, surviving is hard. Decisions are hard. And you are feeling the crunch. You're working so hard, its really rather encouraging. With help around you, you work. You fight despite the feeling of being left behind. Despite behind thrown shit, you wade through it silently. Keeping as much complain in as possible. Thank you.

And the cheerful princess. Thank you too! Komawoyo... for sharing, for identifying, for building this strong fortress together, this strength, with it, we survive. Komawoyo!!!

And you, even though you're leaving, thank you for making it so soft. Thank you for sharing and thank you too for identifying. We are so glad, I am so glad of your happiness. Wish you all the best, do not look back. Its trash around here. But we will tidy it up. We won't let ourselves down.

Komawoyo!

And Miyanae. I've been so snappy. It helps to snap around, but its greater help that you all put it up. The lavendar scent was really spirit lifting. Sorry, and thank you very much!

Let us all pull through this difficult times together...

Recently I realised..

That its better to be wide awake den Zombified...

I have been 'hu si luan xiang' for so long so infinitely long and so irrationally that some colleague kindly suggested that I'm not tired enough...

But I have proven and found that one needs to keep wide awake as energy is required to keep out "thoughts" whereas when Zombified, the sub-conscious tends to take over, hence greater 'hu si luan xiang'

Sleep more!!!!!

There's so much on my mind..

I'd love to share.. but do not know which to start with.

1: I'm finally back to my 'Looking forward to Monday' mood.

2: I'm also back to my 'Very exciting life' mode.

3: I still work hard in my life, and live without regrets.

Although I cannot totally emphatise with my friend whose cousin passed away, I can imagine her pain. OK sorry, i'm not supposed to use pain, but heck it. PAIN.

I do not believe in bottling things up. You should share all you need with someone. And not wish you could share anything else with that someone only after he/she has left.

Most imptly, you have to treasure what's left behind. Alot more than what's left. The poor souls in pain. The pitiful next-of-kins. One shouldn't only learn to appreciate or treasure loved ones after phenomenol events.

But of course, the most impt truth to staying alive is the ability to let go. Let go, move on and continue seeking happiness. Never give up.

Maybe I should be counsellor. A psychologist. I am strong after all.

A social issue

I've been really concerned lately, on the increasing divorce rates, on the increase of late marriages.

As I look around me, so many pple feel lonely. Why do they choose to be lonely?

In my mother's time, it was a phenomenon to find an unwed lady in her 40s. Now, they roam the streets, the foodcourts, atas restaurants, SBS buses, Transitlink and even SMRT. Interesting thing is, where is all the men hiding?

We know there is a higher percentage of women than local men. But so many local ladies have married expats. Then again, local men have also taken Vietnamese wives.

Poor us. Such fate. But can we do something about it?

Can I teach a 40 yr old to be less picky? How can I help anyone if I try so hard yet fail time and again?

But in the latest korean drama I watched, they said "Fall in love. And get hurt. But have the confidence to fall in love again."

Fall in love Singapore. I wish you'd fall in love.

I need to know I guess...

What happened?
What changed?

But how can you get answers from a human who doesn't reflect?

yet I often wonder, something you fought so hard for, can be let go so easily?

its only been such a short while, you haven't even tried!

what exactly were you fighting for?

Or what you thought you fought for, was actually a misconception on your part?

If so, I need to know!

SIGH...

Kudos to the PINK chocolate shop..

It takes TWO Engineers to make a box of PINK chocolates;
One to drive the other around to buy ingredients,
The other to create the concoction with mysterious ingredients.

:D

But it needs just ONE Engineer to eat it all up.
(And one abloy lock to ensure the chocolates are well-kept)

A Pink Birthday

Comes with...

PINK Socks accompanied by hand cream trapped inside a cute little "Seal"
PINK Wrapping paper for "Road Less Travelled" with
PINK Glittery Butterfly stuck on a
PINK Card and a
PINK Box of
PINK Chocolates with
PINK Ribbon and
PINK Butterfly earrings all perfect for the
PINK Princess.

Love you all!!!!!

Escaping Reality

Some indulge in the Final Fantasy world,
Believing that to be their fulfilment instead of out here.

Others bury themselves in their busy lives,
Numbing out worries like little mice.

Some no longer know how to face this life,
How to handle real-world situations alive.

Others believe in running away,
Unable to take seriouly, any rainy day.

I'm too honest I'm afraid.
I want to live my life to the max.
I will face challenges without regret.

The sight

U know in UWat, I was taught what I believe I see may not be what it really is, may not be what it appears in what others see. A tribute to that class, psychology of the MIND...

I'm not sure the rainbow I see,
Appears the same to you as it is.

I'm not sure the yellow colour I describe,
Looks just the way you see it too.

I wonder if you had my heart,
You might see the pink and love it too.

I wonder if she shed her tears for me,
My heart can be as cleansed as her eyes.

Is the curve of this rainbow I see,
Similar to that of what it seems to you?

If you like these rainbow colours,
Shouldn't I like them the same too?

i love you..

its sweet to be able to say that...
To someone so close to you.

i love you..
its touching to hear it from you...
When I know you mean it so deeply.

i love you..
can be such a weighty phrase...
Yet treated so lightly by some.

I love you..
warms hearts a plenty...
Gives hope to many.

Why does one torture oneself?

Why does one torture oneself,
When she can run to hide in a safe jetty?

Why does one torture oneself,
Insisting on braving the stone pallets thrown?

Why does one torture oneself,
Knowing there's no good conclusion possible?

Why does one torture oneself,
Against the good advice of loved ones?

Why does one torture oneself,
With hopes one knows will burst like bubbles?

Why does one torture oneself,
Even as e shimmering flame turned into smoke?

Why does one torture oneself,
Hanging onto unfeeling thin air?

Dear Khor Khor..

Dear Khor Khor
Can I borrow your shoulder?
Even though I haven't been a sister dear.

Dear Khor Khor
Can I borrow your shoulder?
Just for this little while more,
As things are getting clear.

Dear Khor Khor
This world is so harsh u know,
Can I borrow your shoulder?
To shelter my disturbed mind so.

Dear Khor Khor
Can you protect me from this harsh reality,
Even for this very little while shortly,
Can I borrow your shoulder?

Dear Khor Khor
Can I borrow your shoulder?
To keep warm my little head and gut
As this freezing cold breaks my heart.

Dear Khor Khor
Can I borrow your shoulder?
Even as i'm swallowing tears.

Dear Khor Khor
Can I please borrow your shoulder?
Mistakes has followed me through
This difficult journey so blue.

Dear Khor Khor
Again I fall from my journey,
Will you still lend me your shoulder?
As a support to tide me over.

Dear Khor Khor
Will you lend your shoulder?
To your very pathetic sister dear.

Dear Khor Khor
Its just a warm, hard shoulder.
I wish to borrow no longer,
Than a quick minute more.

Dear Khor Khor
Your sister is sometimes blind,
And she appreciates you in kind,
For the shoulder to her you lend.

Soleil

The sun rises as it will set.
Plants respire with its aid,
Transpires when without.

The sun rises as it will set.
Four seasons see flowers abloom,
While time and tide defines the moon.

The sun rises as it will set.
Children grow into parents,
While parents grows back to children.

The sun rises as it will set.
Technology redefines lives,
While lives revolve around technology.

The sun rises as it will set.
Shining on healthy bodies,
And cooling them as night falls.

The sun rises as it will set.
Waving goodbyes,
Welcoming cries.

Smsing someone unimportant..

Its amazing how much an sms can tell.

A simple 'goof luck' in the morning tells the reader,
I'm too busy to even look at the screen to type two words to you;
However, I probably have to remind u of my existence, so here it is.
And oppz my fingers didn't aim at the correct key,
But you get my idea - 'goof luck'.

I can't even make time to sms u properly,
I just randomly run my fingers across the keypad,
In between waiting for the car to start up or a traffic light.

If i wan to make my point to you,
I'd wait till i'm too bored,
Probably at the time when I'm sitting in the car waiting to pick my mum/sis up.
But still time is limited.
I hurriedly sweep my fingers across again, and makes sure the general idea is there.
Words and phrases all chunked up, they may not flow, may confuse.
But its okay, I just want an outlet avenue.
In my sms to you.

But just in case u think me self-centred,
I wish u a simple 'hope u have a good day',
Somewhere in my sweeping fingers, while trying to share what i need to,
As i've said above, to my outlet avenue.

I don't really care if u reply,
Especially doesn't matter what you reply.
I'm in my own sms world where,
I tell u what i feel like at the moment,
Non-considering where what who u r.

If i like I can take hours to reply,
But when I'm bored replies will come in quick.
Some of your text may irritat a response from me,
But once my point is made,
I don't really care what u respond back.

You can think u're unimportant to me.
But in my logical mind,
I find u impt enough,
To even slip u a short sweep,
Of the fingers across my sms keypad.

Contrast in Life

One doesn't appreciate the security around her, until insecurity tips her off balance.

One doesn't treasure the permanence of friends, until temporary ones burns her toes.

One takes for granted the punctuality of others, till the lack of it chills her.

One doesn't embrace the care of loved ones, till the absence of care shocks her.


God, I've been patient and I've appreciated all those. And I will understand if you have to put me thru the opposite, that you're just teaching me to be more tolerant.

Thank you, my Lord.

Liu Kang's exhibition @ SAM

I feel super in touch with this drawing of his, despite its being drawn way before i was born. It portrays a type of emotion I can absolutely relate to, especially since recently I was just tearing in this pose.

Although I'm much better now.. I still feel alot of connection with this picture.. love it to the max!!!

<<> edit: it was drawn very long ago, but not way b4 I was born, mistaken cos this drawing was set next to one drawn in 1951..<>>

Swan Lake -On Ice-!

Omg... you won't believe... when i watched the ballet, I was enjoying it so much le. I thought to myself, how can an inherent ballet possibly be fantastic on Ice? I was even doubting the ability of skaters to even LOOK like swans. but Lo and Behold.. they turned out BETTER!

In fact, BOTH the swans were A-mazing. They could really keep the swan pose and every single fling of the arms and stroke of the hand is exactly like the wing would be! So lovely right..

In addition, the graceful sliding across the ice makes the swan come alive! actually... even better, surprise surprise, the white swan changed from her skates to her pointe shoes and showed off quite a few lovely steps! (it got me reminded of a joke i heard as a kid, child asked dad "Daddy, why do they not get taller dancers?") they even did dance on swinging ropes that hung from the theatre's ceiling!

but what's all these without someone to keep me company and share my joy with isn't it?

Thoughts are killing me..

Its not like i have nothing to do.. I just cannot concentrate...

And.. it didn't occur to me there was something wrong..
until i was questioned.. omg..

is there REALLY something wrong?! :O

Lantern @ The Fullerton Bay Hotel

Well well, u know i love e sea.. and mummy and i love quiet places.. n, mummy kind of got into Fullerton area craze a few mths back.. so somehow I found out abt this place and wanted to check it out.. we wanted to try it especially after our stint @ The Fullerton itself, this one, faces the MBS, so much better, in fact, Lantern has the best view, but I'm sure the other two dining @ Fullerton Bay Hotel have great views too..

Its quite silly if u noticed the 'Reserved' sign on the table. All the tables have this sign. We wanted this table, but the waiter showed us to another. The place is like FULLY empty. lol.. but he said THIS is THE reserved table. I gently probed what time the reservation is for, and he gave up, giving us the 'Reserved' table we chose.

Its a place with really relaxing music, and wonderful view. Puts u at ease the moment u sink into the chair. Ordered e orange juice. Tasted good. But there was a fruit fly in it. They replaced it for me, with another fruit fly. lol. So I gave up, returned them the orange juice and was not charged.

Asked the waiter for recommendations on bites. The waiter isn't v great. Its a fair skinned guy. I preferred the darked skinned waiter, more smiles, more cheerful. Makes one's experience more amiable too. The not so friendly waiter took our orders. He mentioned two recommendations on e menu for bites, some beef and another duck spring roll as below. Its niche, but okay. Taste good, but cannot taste the duck. There's quite abit of spices in the spring roll and the taste of seaweed over powers that of the duck. There isn't much food on the menu by the way.

Its actually a drinking place. Lantern's menu has loads of drinks. Put a mental note to ask Leng there an a wed night. They have some promotion i think. We also ordered this satay. the preferred choice, yummy and cheaper than spring rolls. satay - $18, spring rolls - $25.

Spotted this boat travelling around the Bay though. I wonder, its an Audi? Who sits on it? Will prefer to sail on more choppy waters, really. haha...

The rise of the

Planet of the Apes..

This title ah.. is so super loooong and tough on the tongue.. Can't believe the PC12 PgM just blurted it out so smoothly..

Ya, was on course and my lecturer mentioned the movie I watched.. Didn't quite catch what the link was cos I was already switched off, I think most students are switched off de.. our projects bug us so much its tough to concentrate in ISEM.

side track, i'm checking mail and saw the wego deals I almost want to get again, but was reminded that this is not a contract as I only made an offer, the wego party can withdraw as long as I have yet to claim my deal. quite stupid, but online txn shi zhe yang de.. taught that in Procurement Law lecture today..

Okay.. i meant to tell u abt the movie... that the actor acted very well, esp when caesar spoke, he had both the shock and understanding look.. so super good.. but i'm very distracted.. by huan zhu ge ge...

so ciaoz! haha.. go watch e movie if u're free!

Some insights..

Leng introed the New Huan Zhu Ge Ge to me yday.. watched three episodes.. really quite nice..

(I didn't continue tonight.. cos tired, not feeling well, plus want to do some work, and chat with some friends...)

despite me knowing the story by heart the new film still managed to capture my attn throughout the three episodes with no period of bore.. its really quite a success. They added in decent spices to the story, and cut short lengthy po-po ma-ma portions. So, judging just based on the first three episodes, its GOOD. :) RECOMMENDED.

Thing is, I asked leng this morning, cos watching it this second time, the feeling is so different. That was what, 6 years ago? I asked her, who did she identify with most?

Cos the most interesting realisation i had yday, was my change in character identification! Like I was a totally different girl 6 years back! I'm rather shocked at this revelation. I know I know.. I think toooo much. But cant help it!

I was reminded of something this taiwanese lady staff said when I was working with JM partners (An hui's cousin's office rmbr?). She was telling me how I shouldn't be fixated on marrying my then boyfriend (that was when I was 19) as females CHANGE. She told me that I will change! She even said females will keep growing/changing till 23, some even 26! I was quite stubborn that I wouldn't, quite certain of my r/s then! Haha.. what a joke right.. bu ting lao ren yan..

SM Lee: Hurry back gal! :)

A little repetitive

but I have to keep reminding myself the purpose of revival. Good posts only. Positive ones.

So, I've been quiet for too long. I have to write sometime positive, anything.

K, mei mei's coming back. I'm sooo looking forward to it. No expectations. She's getting iPhone, may become addicted like she said she previously was. But its ok. I'm just glad for her sole presence here. I guess. For emergencies I wish that will never happen. (been having nightmares on it..)

Recently, a lizard fell on my bare shoulder (when I was entering the bathroom). It was behind my shoulder, felt like a beetle. Hard and a little scratchy. After I flicked it off and realised what it was, - absolutely disgusted. FIRST TIME a lizard got THIS close...

Have I ever told u I hate lizards? Hmm.. think only ly knows.. that time I freaked out in hostel thanks to a little lizard too! sigh... its probably one of the rare non-flying creature that I dislike.

Condolences

A recent spate of events left me in quite a thoughtful frenzy. A first for me, visiting the funeral of someone whom I've had lunch with, went bowling with, spent precious tea breaks with, working tgt.

I've been to funerals. Always for friends, for families. Never for the deceased, really. I've seen all made up deceased in the wooden box, greying hair and all. But the closest i got was a grand uncle, whom I've never connected with. The rest, i've probably never really seen in life.

Visiting a friend, the one in the coffin, is a totally different experience all together. I thought I'd have gone crazy since this funeral followed a recent painful spate of events. But thank god, there was the guys by my side, and me by theirs. We gave each other support, tide one another thru. They helped calm me down and bring rationale to my thoughts. Can't be more thankful, for their very existence.

It was such a sudden news, his facebook friend invite still hanging in my inbox - haven't had time to respond, and he's already gone. The news, came via email. What better way? I wonder. How would I have responded if Vince told me at the face? But still, I called him in response, screamed at him, quite bewildered. Of course, the person sitting opposite me thought i went crazy as I've nvr, NEVER, spouted such nouns in the 2.5yrs he knew me. He thought it was work, I didn't know how to tell anyone, anyone at all, that my friend died.

Of course, fortunately, the recent spate of events taught me, live goes on! I wonder, maybe i shouldn't have reacted at all, since life goes on. I shouldn't complain that I felt worthless, as life goes on. Maybe it didn't make things any better. maybe by stopping my life when I was so emotional, I made things worse.

I wonder, if I hadn't told anyone how I felt, things will turn out better? jUst continue with life, and accept that sometimes pple just cannot make time for you. sometimes, pple just prioritise other things instead of you. sometimes, pple just won't try to accomodate you. and most times, pple won't remember that you're struggling with work. pple won't remember that you need them to help make life worth living!

if they do, then good for you. if not, life goes on!

It doesn't work.

Is it so obvious?
That Ms Lin cannot contain herself.

She asked, how's things w him?
Out of nowhere during dept lunch.

Is it so obvious?
That she jumps at my sigh, wanting details.

I've contained it so well, or so I thought.

Is it so obvious?
That Mr Lim opened his consultation services.
Even though I was trying to deviate from topic.

Is it my eyes that gave myself away?
That Mr Lim cared so much to spend an entire morning chiding me.

Thank god for them. And thank god for Leng too.

Is it so obvious?
That even as I try to sound cheerful and agitated,
Leng couldn't discount the fact that i'm so unhappy.

Leng trying to cheer me up with lame jokes,
I think that's rather rare isn't it leng?

Leng correcting my memory,
Reminding me of the past I mis-recall.

Leng being so mummyish,
Listening to every single little woe.

I couldn't thank them more.
For showing care and concern.

I know i'm a strong girl,
And thank you for reminding me, Mr Lim,
That I'm not THAT strong.

Thank you for acknowledging that.
I guess somehow it does help.
To know that I can be weak at times.
That I'm allowed to be so.

In Pain/Hurt/Bullied

I'm exploring a new coping mechanism today:

1. Cry your heart out.
2. Erase all painful, hurtful and bully memories.
3. Move on.


Let u know if this works.

1 to 1 lesson

Today.. i was a little worried on my way to lesson as it started drizzling. Fortunately it was shorrt-lived. And even more lucky, I had a 1 to 1 lesson as the other students were mostly international and this is their 1 wk brk, most families goes ovs!

Well, even b4 lesson, i was walking arnd (cos raining) the sheds and playing w e horses. I asked Keith (instructor) how to differentiate males and females. Then got a long lesson on how stallions are not used for riders as they're hyperactive!

Gosh, they actually castrate horses for us to ride safely! :'( [suddenly reminded of castrato singers] And so in the ranch, there's just geldings and mares... But mostly geldings. After a work out, can see the thing sticking out... Oppz.. abit NC(16) here...

anyway, since I was alone today, I'm working my trot. I'm really bad at the rhythm thingy, really cos I have no energy to keep rising for 30mins non-stop. And my heels are wrong, i keep slipping off the stirrups. Hands also wrong, thumbs must point towards the sky. Keith says I hold the reins like i'm playing piano. (yea, i think so too man)

So many things, I must rmbr to get them right next lesson.

Bald...

omg... the first reaction in my memory was "WHY DID I DO IT!??!?!"

I have forgotten the reason, lost the cause.
I'm abhorred at reflections, never more.

Torn inside me, to face it or not.
Afraid of crowd, fearing their thoughts.

but thankful for great friends, holding me on.
They praise my courage, nurses my torn.

Hope to get over, thru and thru.
Never will I dare, this balding brew.

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother (BHTM) [1]

I'm only halfway thru.. but I have so much I want to share with you..

in the first few chapters she went into such detail i thought only you, violinists could emphatise. "violin hickey" she mentions.. and immediately i thought of you, of grace. i felt so in touch with the violin really... and that only us, strings, can understand her..

She goes on to elaborate at how she works at it.. oh man.. so close to the heart.. and i bought the book really cos of the controversy it churned up in the papers and reviews...

the descriptions she put into how she tigered her girls to practice put me into work as well.. haha.. drilling the scales which i just tried... oh man.. if not for this bk, i think i'd nvr want to touch scales EVER man.. haha.. but if i dun touch it, my LH won't grow.. so yeah.. i'm so glad for the book.. though i'm only halfway thru..

i actually dun feel she's such terrible tiger though the facts put into the book may seem otherwise to readers.. she loves her kids and the nice things she did for them and nice words she put to them were actually all partially hidden..

*fully recommended!!!!*

Voyage De La Vie

After getting today's episode off my chest, lemme attempt to give an impartial review of the Voyage De La Vie I recently watched at the Festive Grand.

Voyage De La Vie is the resident show at RWS. Its a combination of circus, a little dance and singing by Jonathan Leong.

Felt that the show didn't really brought forth the story line that the website described. Supposed to be the story of a boy's adventures and growth. But I totally didn't feel that point.

The choreography was great though. I especially liked the acrobats on the loop. Could really feel the portrayal of love. The rest are more of show offs, esp the swing hanging above our heads. Felt that the lady balancing on two sticks on her arms wasn't quite enjoyable. I didn't like her look la. haha.. felt such an auntie to me oppz...

The finale show really brought out the choreagraphy. Darling and I were both very impressed with the way they changed their sets, really was thought and world-class. Its quite an interesting show through and through. Very rojak and singaporean as they put in both music, dance, pyrotechnics and acrobatics into one performance.

Nice la, but maybe not worth 100+++SGD.

I mentioned that i had to give an impartial review as firstly, it was such an enjoyable experience as there was my darling to share it with and our dearest Kenneth got us such great seats i'm so appreciative for!

Exciting Lesson..

Today's lesson was a little familiar yet not so familiar.

Was so glad to see Keith, my previous trainer. He was tasked to guide a combined group lesson today as Sandra, last week's trainer wasn't around. It was quite a mixed group, with me being the least experienced.

I like his style. Definitely more friendly, but he doesn't scream around like Sandra. And he will gather us after a trot to give us good guidance.

However, despite the familiarity, i was assigned a different horse today. If u have read the previous posts, u'd know that I'm already so accustomed to We Are On that a new horse actually is so rare an experience for me. JD was assigned to me and its really a relatively cooler name. Fortunately, Keith guided me to JD as I expressed my unfamilarity with JD.

And I'm so glad I expressed my unfamilarity to Keith as JD wasn't such a simple horse as We Are On. JD's blind on the left eye and Keith says he's sensitive to being pulled. Keith followed to comfort me that JD's a really good ride despite all that as JD has such a soft canter. (I haven't even gotten used to trotting lorz... -.-)

So I was really cautious. Kept my reins in control yet making sure I didn't tug without realising or for no good reason. JD was a really lovely ride as it is so easy to walk and trot him. Comparatively, We Are On puts on so much resistance despite my kicks.

P.S. I was given the whip today but didn't really need it...

So no tiring kicks today. But side story, the weather was so hot one of the students felt faint and dropped out of class halfway.

That aside, I come to the climax of the lesson today. I already wasn't quite used to JD's trot as his rhythm is obviously quite a far stretch from We Are On, and our trotting today was much much much longer. I had problem keeping up with BOTH the speed and the duration. We didn't have much rests. Just kept trotting on and it was so tiring and hence i was sometimes bumping all over, unable to keep up and almost falling le.

But that falling wasn't an issue as JD's so sensitive he will slow down when he feels i cannot keep up. We learnt the serpent ride today and was trotting around and over some obstacles. Quite smooth for a first time. Unfortunately, the Serpent ride required us to go in an S shape and I was happily trotting when suddenly JD went out of line and a little berserk. I tot he was being naughty and tried to pull him back on track den he freaked out and almost threw me off the horse!

What happened was so fast I couldn't really remember what I did. I remember screaming and screaming (which was so wrong cos I have to coo in a low voice to calm JD down). But I was a little caught off guard and I dun remember if i was scared or what. I think I was, haha, for that moment, but I was more focused I guess. Trying to figure out what made JD freak out and absolutely standing on two legs running about berserk!

Very fortunately, I heard Keith went 'sit', but hello, the saddle is like veritcal, how to sit sia? Nevertheless, I obeyed and tried to sit la, quite impossibly weighed myself down and somehow I managed to rein him in and prevented a fall.

I think Keith was really relieved. He said he's keeping his 2 month no falls in lesson record and counted. and so we trotted on.

After lesson, saw a lady with one side of her sleeves and trousers covered in brown yellowish sand. and her friend went to tell someone at e clubhouse she just fell. OMG. Looks like falling from horse is really common!

I guess I'd just have to learn how to maintain balance. Oh, I forgot to tell you what made JD berserk. Keith later explained to me that it was all the sand that the trotting gathered that's disturbing his eyes and made him nervous. And I went *raise eyebrows* and *nod in realisation*. Now, not just dogs, I have to protect my horse from flying sand. Horses are like how sensitive lorz. -.-

P.S. Just bathed and found some bruises, believe to be from this episode... oppz.. not really escaped unscratched it seems...

Culina

Randomly picked Culina @ Dempsey on Friday... was walking arnd thinking what to eat, but actually, I already knew I wanted to try that shop when we drove past.. :P

Then, finds out today about its exquisite foods and wines, 'leading purveyor of gourmet foods and wines', and so the websites says... haha.. amazed at my random choices..

No pictures thanks to no camera phone policy... but i try to describe la..

Oysters had a variety, like 6 different types to choose from. Tell the truth, i TOTALLY dunno how to choose, the oysters were all salty naturally though.. not like the ones in boston, i rmbr one or two not tasty de..

Escargots was quite to liking, not very French leiz.. i felt its more like HEALTHY French.. (when was French EVER healthy sia..) juicy good escargots..

The main courses were just perfect. The juiciness cant even compare with its presentation. Its very weird they stacked my trout on to of the brocolli and carrots, liddat how to cut!?!?! I lurve the chef.. haha.. he keeps all the original tastes of his main and brings out the tenderness and fragrance of the meat so skilfully..

*PRAISE*

Sigh and double sigh..

I'm questioning myself, did it happen the last time we were there as well?

Mummy's upset that we have to carry home so many things. Oh, I kind of remember le, cos last time i left early for work, so I dunno if she has many things to bring home!

Seriously dun remember.. was she upset the last time too that aunts and uncles brought stuff to occ?

i'm so... not happy. :'( I rmbr the last visit to occ was like heavenly. I had time with my book, had time to swim and tan etc. it did rain too. but not so bad. I dunno. I guess the previous visit was more family. This time was more mummy.

What about me? Maybe I really NEED to just travel out ALONE. Can you imagine, leng? THe last time u suggested something so ______ to me i was totally against your idea. Unfortunately, maybe with a little of leng influence, this idea i was abhorred about I'm actually accepting and making it mine. GOsh.

Naples?
Or Ubud?

All. By. My. Self.

Riding Again!!!

After another few months of waiting.. Sabine finally slot me into another term lesson. Unfortunately, this is the last time i can take lessons as guest, in future will have to pay membership and all.. quite alot of money involved.. i'm not quite prepared to fork out... YET...

And today's lesson.. was so great! So enjoyable and familiar, as i walked in, towards the familiar board and realise i'm scheduled to ride We Are On again! So glad, so thankful, to have someone - somehorse familiar...

I was quite unsure, actually chose a helmet a tad too big... but stuck with it.. the instructor gave us full control lorz, i have actually NEVER used the mounting block, always led the horse to the arena then mounted. today had to mount ALONE, seriously, my first time.

But no difficulty at all, i was nervous, kept talking to him, We Are On (W), but its alright, found his stable, released the crown and cheek piece with some difficulty, led it out of stable.

trainer was rather unfriendly though.. didn't smile, quite strict, really let us on our own.. i didn't know where to led him to, very long never sit so high, abit unsound without seat belt.. lol..

so we were asked to trot after a round of walking and u know, as usual, its impossible to get W trotting! He's sooo old, and sooo tired, and i'm also so tired.. i'm sure he enjoys the walk while i enjoy the ride. But since i paid for lesson, i better learn well, so i kicked and kicked so hard that i nearly teared... but still he didn't budge.. still walking on.. lol..

okay we struggled for fifteen minutes trying to get the horses into trot, and well u know, i love it! haha.. it was fun.. when i finally remember how to trot properly.. it was time to end e lesson.. awww...

and guess what? walking the horse back, i actually feel happy enough to WANT to keep riding... to be willing to fork out that sum of membership... okayokay.. dun think too far.. finish the lessons first.. haha... :P

Thank God..

Thank you, Thank God Thank God..

You won't believe how grateful I am,
To find someone who understands.

So full of appreciation for this gift,
You have taken pains to guide me towards.

Someone I thought quite impossible to exist,
Someone so dear and ever so giving.

I'm so thankful I'm at a loss for words,
To put my joy and gratification.

As actions speak louder than words,
God, I will appreciate this gift more than ever.

I will take care of the gift and treasure it well.
I will be a good lady for this gift.

Thank you, Thank God.

Restart, restart..

I need to restart..

Loved spending time at home, reading, playing e piano, flipping magazines... tidying the room!

Should begin my attempts at housework all over again: laundry, cooking, cleaning.. YES... washing dishes will be a good start..

positive positive!

and to run more than 15 mins.. haha... running KILLS me...

and maybe meet up with erv... whom I have put aside for so long becos of lame reasons like lazy, busy and depressed!

am so appreciative.. of the email from xy.. and finally getting sm in Singapore! and talking over e phone all over again!!!

Thank you... these are heartening... I will be bright all over again~!

Gaelic

I was browsing thru a new facebook friend's photos and saw this Hogmanay festival he attended..

This led me to reading abt Hogmanay and I found a link to Gaelic. Remembered we played Gaelic overture.. and I didn't even know it was scottish! Went youtube to listen to some recordings of Gaelic.. but u know what? Its just not as good as how we did it...

Girls.. does anyone of you have our VCD from the Gaelic's performance? Let's watch it all together again! :D

omg... found this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0YfuDPQrIo :'( is that me?????:'(

I want to do alumni item!!!!!!!!argh.....

OChre

Is extravagant.... The squid ink pizza is goood.. mum and i decided it can feed FOUR... but the pasta is TOO al dante le.. i prefer it chewy... :P tiramisu so-so.. not the best... hee... oppz.. Kitchen Language seriously needs to work smarter...

This is NOT my bedroom

Triumph's dressing room...

Is huuuugeee and princessy!!!! :D

Jazz afternoon @ Bot Gardens

It was an eye-opener... just look at the crowd! its a very lively crowd that.. even looking at the crowd relives me of my stress....



the music only enhances the visual pampering more... except that.. some of the movie themes were so dated leng and I couldn't relate to at all!!! lol.....

Lost

Lost in a sea full of emotions,
Lost facing a future too colourful.

Lost with a past so tumultous,
Lost in a life satisfaction filled.

Lost in the daily mundane activities,
Lost in little weekly goals.

Lost in life, in general,
Lost for sometime, struggling to find light.

How have you been doing?

Its been five years since we met,
Two years since we were in love,
And one year since we last chat.

Today, was a very normal day,
Yet I looked thru the photos,
The emails and things u used to say.

Pain rushing back, unable to comprehend;
What happened, why did they happen?
Two deep in love yet fail to mend.

I wish we could talk;
Discuss and have fun like before.
I hope to hear ur thoughts.

But quiet as my life has turned,
Heart brimming with tears,
I keep all my sorrows churned.

Force myself to look away,
See the sun and smile.
Thank god you were once here.

Thank you.

Studying..

You know.. I really HATE studying.. HATE it to the CORE...

I hate the idea of mugging.. of drowning myself in new information that is difficult to make sense of...

But somehow.. all my friends are encouraging me to do so.. the two ladies in Boston, some colleagues at work...

I still fought them off.. till these few days...

I wake up thinking i have to go to school.. I slip of my tongue says I have to get back to studying instead of get back to working...

I so cannot believe why I'm behaving this way.. for I really do hate studying...

It freaks me out.. how signs show me what I really need... Thank you.. I appreciate it.. and will continue so... Thank you...

Beginner's last lesson

Yesterday was the eigth and the last lesson of my beginner's riding course where we learnt to walk, trot, control and interact with the horse. It was also the most scary and the lesson where I learnt alot.

I quite reluctantly dragged myself out of bed LATE.. and self-whipped to faster go for the last lesson.. I had the belief that the last lesson was supposed to be a horse grooming lesson, so was half-reluctant to go.. but didn't want to waster the 80 bucks.. and will also need to know how to groom my own horse.. so I dragged myself there..

To my quiet surprise, we were told to lead our horses out of the stables, i.e. we were riding again! (I think it was because Keith, our instructor for the first six lessons went to a competition and Adre who took over isn't clear which lesson we're at.. so maybe confused and thought we should be riding and not at the grooming lesson!)

Lack of sleep and exhaustion from the week gave me little energy. Not to mention, of the eight lessons, they had to assign me "Report Time" in the last lesson. (The other seven were all on "We Are On"). So here I was, trying to make friends with "Report Time" and putting some energy controlling it as I wasn't sure if it understood my intentions.

Interestingly, it was much easier task to get "Report Time" trotting than "We Are On". However, I initially didn't adjust the stirrups properly so the first trot was not successful as the stirrups were too long for me to balance on. After adjusting the stirrups, my second trot wasn't great either as I had a hard time keeping balance on "Report Time", either due to exhaustion or disability to catch her trotting rhythm. My third trot was a little better but I was still too nervous and pulled too tight on her reins so she felt held back and difficult to trot comfortably...

The highlight of the day, however wasn't me. It was jessica on "Moonlight". I think jessica's few times on "Moonlight" too, so she was trying to get "Moonglight" to go into trotting when suddenly, Moonlight jerked and Jessica fell off the horse!. Moonlight den went into a frenzy, not knowing where to run! The instructor later chided as somebody's mother brought the dog near "Moonlight" and gave "Moonlight" the scare! That was why "Moonlight" reacted so... I was so shocked as I saw how Jessica fell and then picked herself up and her expression of shock and pain still remains freshly engraved in my mind..

Scary morning..

This morning.. while waiting along the road for a cab to BTSC...

Some MPV stopped over and this driver wound his passenger window down:
Driver: Where are you gng?
Me: Bukit Timah.
Driver: Need me to send you to MRT?
Me: No, its okay. (Duh, I'm right next to an MRT station)
Driver: Can give me ur number?
Me: (SHOCKED :O) No. Thank you.
Driver drove away. But still within 2 meters.
After 5 mins..
Driver reversed, and wind down his passenger window again, this time trying to pass me a slip of paper. I said no thanks. He drove away.
-The end-

Riding lesson Seven!

Today was an eventful lesson.

Our instructor for the past six lessons, Keith, is away in Japan for competition. (Hope he's alright) Therefore, we had a lady instructor today, i forgot her name opps. Was it andre or something?

Well, the exciting stuff happened all together.. After our first trot, Little Red and We Are On went into mutual grooming. Both Jessica and I, on Little Red and We Are On, and the instructor was surprised! At the same time, Stephanie was doing her own trot but ended up in her first canter instead!

Yup, that pretty much summarises all the exciting stuff. It was also the first time I held a whip and used it. Woah, super effective la! We Are On went trotting immediately. Trotting is getting used to me! haha...

A girl's heart..

Is so volatile.
She can lose it to him for a while,
But does not realise it at all.

I've lost myself to him,
Without realising it.
My heart has gone to him,
From I do not know when.

He was never in the picture,
For as long as I remember.
I have always been so focused,
For as much as I wanted.

Its cruel to control my feelings,
Its hard to discipline my thoughts.
I'm constantly afraid of disturbing,
Someone I treasure so dearly.

I wish he's resting well,
I pray for his good mood.
Hope he does not worry,
For I'm oh-so cherry.

I pray to find peace,
I want joy with him.
Glad for the blessings,
Heart vigoursly thumping.

What am I preparing for?

There seems to be so much to learn..
So much to overcome..
Such a wide variety of intelligence to pick up..

I somehow have this inkling...
That I'm preparing for something bigger, larger, greater..

Than what I've ever experienced...

Oil Painting

I didn't truely understand the intricacies of Mona Lisa till today!!! When my dear friend finally started oil painting class and i got so confused from her description that I started reading about it..

woah! so much into an art work! I tot it was just simply a different type of paint!

Second Riding Lesson

I was further reminded of what stirrups and girdle are when the instructor tested us...

we finally got to sit on the horse.. but We are On is a rather impatient little horse, so it was a little hard leading her to stand still.. she keeps biting on her bit, instructor claims shes playing with the bit and probably uncomfortable to me.. and keeps salivating.. (actually i didn't check if its male or female, oppz)

she also kept shaking her head, wanting to hang it low.. etc.. whereas the other pony was so still and so cooperative!

We took turns riding on her, me and Stephanie, the two Jessicas rode on the little pony, called spiky if i didn't recall wrongly.

When Stephanie rode, i led We Are On, and vice versa. Instructor said we had the same problem, that is, we held our hands too high.. hee.. we make a good team i think, instructor said so too.. its been so long i've been on a horse i forgot how scary it could feel.. but i got over it in the minute, despite the feeling of inbalance, i think my stirrups were not quite even.. oppz.. my fault, didn't check properly.. haha... we were all comfortably riding, not focusing on anything actually.. i was more enjoying the view lol.. while stephanie led We Are On...

its fun being so high up! :D

The gambling family..

And so we went to burn some incense for my late grandad after my second riding lesson...

i was wearing my new tee, one of those i got from harvard's coop... in the sch colour.. with its founding date..

And.. my aunts, my uncles saw the date.. the first thing that came to mind was to buy 4D!!! -.-

so they went on discussing what to buy, duno what they say la.. sounds like there are different ways to bet... i-bet i think?

and the whole family is putting in to bet.. like sure win liddat.. and mummy even added that i went riding in that very tee.. so very lucky and relevant for betting 4D cos its for horse racing ma.. -.-

If we win, I'd let u know. :P

LNY

Lunar New Year..

Its been a peaceful new year... Enjoyed the games with cousins, my first time getting ang bao from my cousin! lol... paiseh lei...

watched like a few movies... Alls Well Ends Well, Battle of Red Cliff...

I think.. i need more rest... need more slp.. need even more peace..

for i feel, this is the warmth before the thunderstorm... the quiet before the rain...

Damn Sian..

Buck up!!! I must not let a hyper active boss put me down!!!

BTSC first visit

And so I finally got to start riding lessons.. i just finished learning the parts of the rein and the gridle... and how to lead the horse out of its stable...

its a pretty simple first lesson.. I recall in Waterloo, they didn't even teach me to lead the horse and already I was on horseback.. but today we all enjoyed touching its head.. and learnt that its two sensitive parts are its ears and belly...

yea.. such an early start to my saturday.. will probably make the weekend feel longer.. lol...

there are just us four in the beginners lesson.. but the others are really young kids.. pri sch? from their conversations, i learned that one of them actually owns horses.. not sure about the others.. but they all already grew up with horses so are familiar with them!

its nice being with fellows who like horses like i do.. and we were all accompanied by our parents! haha.. quite hilarious.. cos mummy decide to tag along probably just out of curiousity..

looking forward to lessons ahead...

Near marketplace..

Lunch was amazing! the noodle was good.. charsiew was good.. juicy, bbqed well and fat.. and even the dessert was good.. all for 8,80 no service charge.. go go go!!!

Simple cooking

I made Soba today! quite pro ok.. i was trying to copy how Sun with Mood does it.. boil, cool and put the soba on ice... and the soup/sauce i add sesame and seaweed.. most ingredients from market place.. cos mumy and i was there for tea... show you the pics soon...

Actually...

last week we went to the National Museum and enjoyed ourselves very much at pompeii.. but as i was rushing to orchestra.. we only managed half of it.. so we returned to the National Museum today... to discover... THIS:

A QUEUE!!!! from the first block of the museum.. to the next block.. and then.. to the escalator that leads DOWN... and all the way into the museum!!! can you believe it!?!?! so we didn't go to pompeii (target tmr) and went to the others instead (fashion and wayang galleries.. :))

Carmen

And so we watched Carmen today... Think mummy enjoyed it very much..

The familiar tunes that defined Carmen and the Toreador.. totally hits the hearts... i think its an amazing webwork by bizet.. the harp brought in the third scene so lovely.. the cellos tune was well-written (will be great if the solo cello didn't go out of tune).. the flute signalled an entrance too.. (i wished i could be less critical.. but he faltered..) otherwise, everything else was good with the clarinets weaving in and out of the voices..

i like the brashness of Carmen.. (accompanied by the tambourine!) but is abhorred by her fickleness! the children's march mimicking was great too! haha.. so lovely and lively and well-sung! felt that Carmen's dress was a little lacking though.. didn't change much throughout! even Don Jose had more of a change of clothes than she did! -.-

an opera comic indeed.. haha.. even the songs had some funny jokes! the ending was totally silly.. just die die die..

its great to finally know what Carmen is all about... after so much studying and playing...

The Cookie Museum

This is an amazing shop.. with some history too... Absolutely Made In Singapore... the cake comes in a bottle.. for lazy singaporeans to heat up in the microwave.. but seriously.. i dun like it at all...

The best part of the experience.. besides the outstanding decor and relaxing ambience.. is the fragrance.. this is what drinking tea should be about! The FRAGRANCE! even before the tea touches my lips.. my nose is already basking in its richness...

We DISCOVERED a park!

Walking from City Hall to the National Museum.. we discovered THIS!.. a butterfly park! mummy was so amused by it.. haha...







The flowers that did the job... (of attracting the butterflies!)

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Watami

The food is GOOD!.. abit over tasty... very RICH flavours.. but good.. they live up to their motto!

Went to the one at marketplace.. but it seems the one at Central will have a better view... :P

USS!!! :D

Here we have my dream castle, the wet rides in USS and... no smoking in Jurassic Park!!!

Spot the Difference..

Mummy's provision shop

One fine day.. mummy came home to say (translated) 'i went to this shop in marketplace got 50% discount lei!' -she means city hall basement- 'that sells zha2 huo4' -i.e. sells mixed goods- 'bags, bikinis, slippers, earrings etc.'

I crinkled my eyebrows.. thought very hard to myself... marketplace got provision shop meh? and provision shop sells bikinis!??!?! and then... i went (translated) 'what's the shop name?'... thinks even harder... ' the shop named accessorize ah???

She said (translated again)'no la.. the shop got name one meh..?' -pause- 'ah, i show you the bag.. i bought a pair of earrings...' and at first, i couldn't recognise the bag.. i tot... maybe its really some random shop i dunno.. and then.... my eyes set on the word a.c.c.e.s.s.o.r.i.z.e at the botton of the bag that housed her rose earrings (she wore to Carmen today)...

sm lee insisted i post this.. haha.. its so hilarious lorz.. mummy's provision shop is accessorize... very high class leiz.....

THB Fanatics!

Woah.. went to the handburger @ 313 after work today.. (no photos thanks to stupid no camera policy..) well... ordered the chicken (caesar?) burger... no set...

its not good la... i think the chicken is too dry.. and the bread is not sweet enough... the bread is good, fresh and soft, just not sweet enough... i like the mushroom cheese though.. haha.. yummy stuff... and veggies and tomatoes.. but those are the sides! the main not good lei..

yaya tried the beef de.. she ordered medium rare (she said she forgot she had food poisoning yday).. but it turned out raw... lol... i think the beef looks juicy, except that i dun take beef.. oppz.. haha...

then they gave us this THB Fanatics card upon payment.. so smart la.. they force u to be member.. lol.. already got like 800 points in my acct le.. its quite a good deal leiz.. like 10 percent rebate for every meal... just redeem ur rebate within a year can le... and 20 percent rebate on ur bday month somemore!

oh btw, we tried the warm chocolate cake dessert.. we both loved the ice-cream!!! (the side again, somehow this restaurant does well at sides but not main..) the cake itself.. does not ooze chocolate fudge like we love it.. i think a little dry also.. so the cake not good.. we miss the tcc de... :P

not too ex if u only order main.. if u order set.. will be quite pricey for the place - its like a canteen! benches and long chairs.. plus loads of chatter just 5cm away - totally noisy and no privacy!

pre-CNY gathering

It was such a lovely event! We had yummy lunch post Saboteur with like 10 dishes per table.. Followed by this yusheng and then the matcha tiramisu with some sparkling juice and honeydew sago in between the snacks!!! Such a wonderful family gathering.. where aunts busy themselves with food preparation and washing and uncles sit around discussing and updating one another's lives and not forgetting us cousins! who finally grew up and enjoy playing so stress-free...

Fresco

a wall painting technique in which the pigment is applied to newly plastered walls: the paint bonds with the plaster as both dry creating a very durable surface.

This is the definition given by the Pompeii guidebook.

(Sigh, as I'm typing, I got news that my aunt is 1 hr late as she's tied up with playing mahjong, totally pissed now. As we could've gone back to the Museum just now if we knew she was gng to be late) (ok la, i'm more angry that she's playing mahjong than she's late. they're infatuated with such a material need i really hate it)

Took some crazy zooms of the fresco at the Museum. lol... my mother and I couldn't figure out the annotation of the latter fresco... lol...

Mosaic fountain

So my mother and I went to the pompeii exhibition, we didn't expect it to be so exciting! It was the Museum's open house, so free entry to all exhibits! we didn't finish the entire exhibition as I had to rush to orchestra, but intend to go back if we have time! The exhibition intrigued both my mother and I as we were very interested how pple used to live in the past.


This fountain was actually preserved thanks to Vesuvius eruption!








A close up of the Mosaic















A close up of the shells

National Museum

This is quite a good angle for the National Museum, I feel.

Eat. Pray. Love

And so, after I finally managed to catch the movie (in two parts actually cos halfway the plane landed then the entertainment system was switched off) on the plane ride... it got me inspired to get the book and read it the moment i landed in SG!

But its such a long and thick and trvel guide book kind of thing that I took almost a MONTH to finish it! many many hours.. i think almost 3 x 24 hr days...

The most gross thing and the only reason it got me so attached was the way I could emphatise on every single pain and happiness of hers. Its gross cos she's 34, divorced etc. But the ability to emphatise, leads me to realise there's always a silver lining if not a pot of gold.

Many may not know, it actually is non-fiction! can you believe it!? such intimate secrets printed, i totally cannot. The book did make me want to go to Naples (esp after my visit to the pompeii exhibition) and to Indonesia as well!

this is MY TYPE of travel guide. haha.. ten stars!!! read it if you can!!! its something I will read, time and again.... :D

P.S. and she's such a humours writer, i love humour in books, like that in meyer.

My pimples..

and so my pimples actually come with a looong story but I won't dwell into that..

except that the girls are all very concerned.. they suggested i go see doctor.. (like hc is in derma now but I dun think she'd be willing to be asked doctor qns post work) one suggested i try the kiwi remedy... so I'm taking kiwi everyday.. another suggested the cream she's using i think is Avene or something like that...

the one that suggested kiwi listed a list of Vitamins that I need to build up on.. but too much for me to take.. lol..

I've tried Shiseido, Jurlique but ALL dun work! We're trying to figure what caused the breakup actually. some say maybe work stress, some say probably flight stress (i flew 5 times last year)... dunno.. i hope i'm healthy! :) and happy to know so many dear and concerned friends!!! I'm very very appreciative of that!

Did I tell you..

That I've been coughing so badly?

But my colleagues are so concerned, one even left the jin1 hou2 sweet on his desk to help soothe the cough. (i just assume he left it for me la, so touched!) Some are advising what I shouldn't eat/drink , like tea will make my cough worse, cannot eat ice-cream, but camomile supposed to help soothe cough (btw, I tried Dilmah's camomile today and found its fragrance reminds me of cockroach smell) and beer is supposed to be good for cough too?

Another girl suggested drinking coke with salt.. some uncle said just gargle salt la.. haha... some suggested I avoid alcohol, didn't know its bad for cough too?

So I have one whole list of cough/sore throat remedies...

Omg...

This is so classic of the old me... How could I have made such a grave mistake????

I mistook the concert date to be 21 Mar, and thought, ah, everything falls into place, like I perform 21, den pack and go trip on 24 Mar...

To my utter shock today.. during dinner.. someone randomly spouted the 26th Mar date and caught me off guard.. i think i still couldn't believe it... till NOW>..... This means, I cannot perform.. this means, I dun understand what the guy up there is hinting?

He sent me back to orchestra with all those signs.. I am now so clear that what I really need is orchestra cos I yearn the group work.. the blending in... but, he doesn't let me perform. If i cannot perform, I most likely, cannot go back anymore.. for fear of tipping the balance of the orchestra...

I think.. I'm ok not performing.. although I've always wanted to perform in esplanade.. BUT.. its ok... i think what I'd really like is to enjoy practices.. enjoy playing with the team, the conductor and making MUSIC...

oh dear..i dunno what to do.. the very fierce cg will be so angry with me.. i dunno how she will scold me lorz.. sigh...

Did I tell you about the girl..

who encouraged me to blog? lol.. now i'm like bloggin in spurts.. cos as I re-read my previous posts.. I cant believe how much I've grown!

Just a minute ago I was thinking it will be impossible to blog about work, but the next minute i'm reading a post last year about work! omg... maybe I should, I think it helps clear my mind, sort out thoughts.. and maybe even calm me down!

And re-reading last year's resolution, OMG! I actually FAILED to meet my ONLY resolution of the YEAR! ARGH!!!!! no wonder i totally do not want to make resolutions this year. (Besides the fact that i'm so satisfied with myself i dunno what i want to improve on desperately)

okay okay.. take it back.. bu yao da wo! :D I shall stop spamming, more to come tmr! :P

Catching up..

I realised the lack of blogging could be due to my starting to use face book. But somehow, I want to make it up to this blog. Haha.. Some interesting places I've been and recommend all to go:



Egg3 Cafe @ Mountbatten Centre, Block D

I highly recommend tea-time there. Its too cosy. Too family. I'd go even if i only had an hour to spare. The lemongrass is amazing...



Philatelic Museum

We went on Christmas Day I think. It was so amazing.. I like it that I can hui2 wei4 tong2 nian2 with mummy. The photo isn't quite representative of the Museum, i didn't realise I didn't take any representative of the Museum.. haha.. but just go! I was introduced to this Museum when I was lounging in Silver Kris at T3 awaiting my working flight... things just happen like that.. and i'm so appreciative of it...

And I wrote the previous post..

becos some dear girl encouraged me to blog MORE...

Her comment made me return to my previous posts to read... I didn't realise that my life seemed to have stopped a little... Sad a little...

And yes! I want to keep this blog alive! with the conviction as when I started! So, I'm very sorry that post was so long.. haha..

But I've been so into work.. There's too much i cannot say..

growing up, I hope I am...

Visit back to orchestra..

Okay, as you knew.. after all those signs.. i went back to orchestra last Sat..

Prior to that, there were so many signs:
bumping into my favourite Sheng player at Vivo, bumping into my dearest ruan player at Suntec, etc etc.. seeing the cello appear everywhere.. during ktv, tv advertisements, on posters etc etc.. acquiantance with a semi-pro saxaphonist cum ex-pres of ntusb..

And so I was curious b4 I returned how the section was and asked the pp(principal player) i used to know.. to realise that she wasn't pp anymore.. her words made me shiver "we're playing difficult pieces this year you know", (is she thinking i'm not good enuff to cope with the repertoire?) not too friendly she is, told me she let's the new pp makes decisions... and not too encouraging abt my return either..

and you know.. the last time I touched the instrument was in 2009, for the Poland competition... in June I think.. and I haven't been near it since then.. i was so worried i couldn't play anymore! plus i'm so ambitious i'm returning to full orchestra practices immediately without participating in sectionals, also due to work commitments (sectionals are on wkdays) i may never go sectionals.. :P

And her words did get me so worried i think my legs were gng soft on my way up to the YST orchestra hall (we had to borrow their hall as CFA was in renovations)... I was so worried, my mind was BLANK! I couldn't remember which note was in which position, i totally forgotten how each of the four strings sounded.. and i was really freaked out to be on my way back to orchestra after such a long absence!

Not to mention pple would be looking at me wondering who i was, i was worried i wouldn't know most of the pple! I dunno how to find a cello, I dunno if its okay to borrow one.. i was even prepared to not play and just go home!

But it turns out that as I turned towards the hall i bumped right into the ex-pp, she was tuning her cello, so I asked if there was a spare one i could borrow, she pointed me into the room.. and as it turns out, I followed her example to tune and timidly sneaked into the hall.. as it felt so strange, i was afraid pple will stare at this stranger.. and i dunno how to explain myself. I was glad to see another alumni in the section and with relief, found a seat as his desk partner.

It was so scary at first i think my bow was trembling.. but my desk partner led me in well, showed me the bar, and it was easy to follow someone who was playing mostly correct notes. took me about half an hour and two pages of score to grow back into the cellist i was.. SIGHT-READIng.. the pipa pro later commented i'm such an amazing sight-reader as I did not have the luxury to own an instrument, I was forced to be execellent in sight reading.

OH! I missed out the most impt part, the moment i creeped into my seat and sat down, i finally raised my head to look at conductor to hear him say "wo you mei you kan cuo? na shi yan jun ma?" that broke my very tense countenance into a big great smile... :D nodding.. hee hee.. lao shi, you still rmbr me!

in any case, the conductor didn't chase me out of the room, some junior made me write my particulars down, so i'm kind of fixed for this concert... i hope not too many pple disapprove of my last min. participation..

but let me continue with my story.. it was actually more of a chinese lesson last Sat as reading the score i saw some really weird chinese characters.. some i cannot recognise, most i cannot understand... fortunately my desk partner is some cheena folk and patiently explained to me, what is "ci qi pi fu", i decided it just means to play randomly, and later went on to further analyse it means when you start screaming, i end and vice versa.

yes and with age, and being rusty, after like an hour of rehearsal, i slumped back in my seat. lao shi was then looking at us, flipping his conductor score but when he set his vision on me, he said "ah, ni men xu yao xiu xi le ma? xiu xi shi wu fen zhong ba!" lol.. i got stunned... haha.. i decided he must have saw my shagged look to suddenly take a break... felt abit paiseh though...

nobody, NOBODY, i'm very sure will be able to emphatise with me. which idiot will stop for 1.5yrs after an intensive competition and THEN sit in an intensive rehearsal!? -SIGHTREADING- wor... yah.. but its exhilarating.. it got me so hyped up i think i had a hard time falling aslp (Or it could be due to the koi tea..:P)

it gave me life.

revived a part of me that was forced to be still due to work and volunteer commitments. I have forgotten how happy i could be. I have forgotten how much i could look forward to something.

Even for a short term, I'm glad I could go back. (think sovil titus)