I think I took on some of myhusband's habits. ..

Like they tend to say that husbands and wives grow to become like each other I totally think I took on some of my husband habits, knowingly or unknowingly.

One of which is the tendency for privacy. I distinctly recall how open I was with everyone and everything. But now, it's all on a need to know basis. Partially something I learnt from my masters in computer security, but certainly wouldnt practice it if not for the hubby.

He's going for blackhat at las vegas. Guess what? We backed up all our devices, ready to 'clean' them once we're back. Unbelievable. I wouldn't imagine doing this if I were by myself.

What I need to do. .

Looking back on the days before my bout of flu sore throat cough, I realised I've been living too hard. I want to enjoy life, do well in my job, be a great wife, a good daughter in law, sister in law and of course a good daughter - in no particular priority. That said, I probably should start imposing some priority on those items, although some items have already been naturally prioritised, if you know what I mean.

Living too hard really. The body needs rest. MY body, especially, NEEDS REST. There's no need to hit a new cafe every week. In fact, I think most days should be spent at home, unless going out for exercise. All days should be spent giving the body the most pampered treatment. One shouldn't go shopping when tired. There's no need to look for the most delicious restaurant when you just need to eat and go home Sleep.

Of course, there's a whole lot of caveats to the above. When out, you need to look for the most inexpensive eating option. Need not be something new, but should be inexpensive at least. That requires some degree of prior research if in an unfamiliar place. I'd say, always plan to go home for dinner. We're already forced to eat out fives days lunch a week.

That said, a lifestyle change should be in effect after I return from Vegas. Good luck to me.

My expectations have increased. ..

And I thought I preferred to work with hardworking people as opposed to lazy but smart people as it is easier to understand if hardworking people have put in their best but hard to come to terms with smart people who refuse to work hard.

But this episode made me realise there's a limit to working with good people who are not so capable as opposed to not so tactful people who are capable. I realised I've reached a stage where I get irritated by people who simply cannot be efficient in the way they work. They simply fail to realise their priorities well.

How do I tell the big boss that I want to work with people who are good at their staff work?

First time in my life...

I want to quit for real. Not because I'm curious about the world out there, not because I have an unethical boss, but really because I cannot find a sense of worth at work.

I'm sure its both ways. The job makes it hard for me to find a sense of worth, myself not inspired by this job leading to a lack of sense of worth. I can see myself contributing bits and pieces, but none are valuable. That is, they could well do without me.

These are the days I need to learn to bite my teeth through. I will grow out of it stronger.