I cannot fall asleep

And I know why.. I'm just too angry. I was really angry with my project mate and gave her a watered down version of a dressing down. I mean, like a kid. It happens to me all the time I get angry and have no choice but to resolve it by scolding some ppl. I gave the boy project mate an even more watered down version than hers on Tues and it worked. I guess there can be other ways, but its just not my style.

Getting angry at ppl is harmful for me, yet this is the best I can control. Already a much improved version, I'm ok once I've scolded sense into them and we move on. But for the night that I do so, I cannot sleep.

So this is the me. The me that was hidden in the sheltered working environment. The me that Coach wanted myself to find. But what next? He says to focus on the ppl I can work with. Not ppl who has no sense of criticality, and expectations and requirements. A 30 year old and a 22 year old. Both manifest similar attitudes. Its the attitude that I cannot work with. They're great humans.

Jia you Yan Jun.

Getting to know you...

Getting to know all, about you..

When I am with you,
Getting to know what to say.

How much you've grown dear,
From the last time you've been here.
You may have changed but,
Definitely for the better.
Knowing that you are stronger,
That's a good sign.

Getting to know you...
Getting to know all, about you..
As you grow older,
Getting to know what to be.

A little shyness,
You may be introverted.
That's all alright dear,
You, have done it well for sure.
There's nothing wrong to be silent,
 Keep smiling there.

Getting to know you...
Getting to know all, about you..
When you feel frightened,
Think about all your fears.

Your very strength is,
In all these adaptations.
You get your way as,
Your confidence is so certain.
It's alright, be insistent,
Just be yourself.

Angry

Omg, I feel myself boiling! To what I do not even know, I didn't know in the first place.

I'm now angry at someone whom I tried to talk to, who kept stereotyping me to "don't treat everyone like your life partner". I'm like, WTF! Sigh, but who can I blame? I chose to talk to that someone, who just failed to properly comprehend what I was experiencing.

I hate it that sometimes I let ppl's view cause me to question myself. Do I treat everyone like my life partner?! Stupid. F.

I mean, c'mon la, decently I have to respect each and every human. And its only right that I care for my friends the way I expect myself to. I don't expect them to do the same in return. Ok, maybe, I guess I want to treat everyone the same, so probably my life partner will also experience the same. WTF. SO WHAT IF I TREAT EVERYONE LIKE MY LIFE PARTNER!?

But really, this was not the root cause of the thing. I talked to him really because I was questioning my own personality. Why do I dislike crowds? Then another someone mentioned, is there any other horoscope that likes crowds? *shrugs*

I know its not good to pull the Libra thing out, but it does have some grounding. Libra likes to be fair and in a group situation there's no way to fairly allocate 'talk time' to each and everyone, so libra gets uncomfortable at those who don't get 'talk time'. In short, I just want to complain that I hate ppl who hog conversations in a big group. -GIRLS- but I'm not one of the two/four.

So this something made me uncomfortable. But I dunno what made me angry. I mean, look, we're free, we want to chill out, and because NO ONE wants to take the initiative, we just all go home? Seriously! I don't understand. The stupid question of where to next was posed a million times and NOBODY at all wants to accept suggestions. I DON'T UNDERSTAND! Between me and my good friend, in any such situation, we'd find somewhere. So I just don't understand. I guess, some ppl just live a passerby life. I'm so glad my inner circle doesn't. Or at least they appear so.