Who decides reason?
It is only in the mysterious equation of love,
that any logical reasons can be found.
--- John Nash
Friday, August 30, 2013
Sunday, August 11, 2013
The truth behind hate..
Hate, isn't effectively a feeling. Its more of a by-product. Sometimes a by-product of irritation or loss, some get it due to anger, which contrary to known belief, also isn't a feeling. Imagine, 'I feel angry' isn't a feeling. Really, anger sometimes comes out of confusion, pressure, stress and most commonly, I think, fear.
So if I say, generally, I hate studying, I really don't 'feel' anything saying it. But most ppl like studying. Just me. I hate studying. But why? Most commonly - out of fear. Let's not drag this too far off (i.e. pri sch). Imagine passing by the lab you struggled days through nights yet was not able to figure out the programming routine for the fuzzy logic. Shivers. And recalling the days you went in and out of Counselling Centre, taking care of your own depression. Dark days those were. I certainly will never attend an 8am lecture again, because I failed the only module that started at that time.
But lo and behold, Providence brought me back to school. The SAME school. How much courage it will take to see me through this schooling is yet to be defined. ALOT, probably. But it is a phase I have to overcome. It is this phase that will help caress my withered soul from school days. It is this particular experience that I have to put in my best effort at righting things at school. Being really a student, and not what I was doing back in those days. Build up my confidence from school.
It starts tomorrow.
So if I say, generally, I hate studying, I really don't 'feel' anything saying it. But most ppl like studying. Just me. I hate studying. But why? Most commonly - out of fear. Let's not drag this too far off (i.e. pri sch). Imagine passing by the lab you struggled days through nights yet was not able to figure out the programming routine for the fuzzy logic. Shivers. And recalling the days you went in and out of Counselling Centre, taking care of your own depression. Dark days those were. I certainly will never attend an 8am lecture again, because I failed the only module that started at that time.
But lo and behold, Providence brought me back to school. The SAME school. How much courage it will take to see me through this schooling is yet to be defined. ALOT, probably. But it is a phase I have to overcome. It is this phase that will help caress my withered soul from school days. It is this particular experience that I have to put in my best effort at righting things at school. Being really a student, and not what I was doing back in those days. Build up my confidence from school.
It starts tomorrow.
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