Information gain is good for health.
But the way the school system goes is just not suitable for you.
Learn like in dressmaking,
At your own pace, in comfort, you ace.
Tide thru this school year,
Stress not and don't fear.
While work life regains,
Knowledge thirst should remain.
Find other ways and means,
To move towards your dream.
Coursera is one avenue,
Leverage on it you should.
Tread the Internet, the library,
Continue learning and revising.
Masters isn't an end,
Its a means to the beginning.
Monday, September 30, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
To someone I'm not sure if I should speak..
Ever since I've started school,
Recollections surfaced like a brew.
The same school and same canteen,
Where every classroom holds memories.
Familiar lecturers and same old menu,
Now seem so strange as I start anew.
This time round things have changed,
My attachments and thoughts no longer the same.
Its now not strange to eat alone,
At the seats where I listened to friends joke.
It is neither strange to find me raise,
My hands and question in good faith.
Returning to a place with a brand new soul,
A soul that trained at this same place.
The soul now that was part of the us,
Was once so difficult to stay in class.
This soul that watched and memorised,
A part of the us that excelled in learning.
I want to tell you I now understand,
The stress of learning you never shared.
I feel that soul inside of me,
Picked up the feelings of your being.
I could almost feel you in the class,
Where I asked questions you would ask.
I know now why you were missing,
As I am missing now from my life.
I feel now what you experienced,
A humble student yearning for more.
Absorbing the vast library of knowledge,
I know now where your soul was.
Recollections surfaced like a brew.
The same school and same canteen,
Where every classroom holds memories.
Familiar lecturers and same old menu,
Now seem so strange as I start anew.
This time round things have changed,
My attachments and thoughts no longer the same.
Its now not strange to eat alone,
At the seats where I listened to friends joke.
It is neither strange to find me raise,
My hands and question in good faith.
Returning to a place with a brand new soul,
A soul that trained at this same place.
The soul now that was part of the us,
Was once so difficult to stay in class.
This soul that watched and memorised,
A part of the us that excelled in learning.
I want to tell you I now understand,
The stress of learning you never shared.
I feel that soul inside of me,
Picked up the feelings of your being.
I could almost feel you in the class,
Where I asked questions you would ask.
I know now why you were missing,
As I am missing now from my life.
I feel now what you experienced,
A humble student yearning for more.
Absorbing the vast library of knowledge,
I know now where your soul was.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
State of Emergency
Has been declared and in activation since first week of school. I guess this will be a full 9-month state of emergency. Fully focused on studying.
But cannot help it. There are just times when the work gets too intimidating. When faced with daunting equations and indecipherable symbols I get into fits of panic. What a phase!
Who can I look to to console,
A panicky heart constantly on my toes.
Good friends far and near,
Always seeming so dear.
But when I cannot even express,
How will they understand.
When the outlook seems so bleak,
One just wants to get away on one's feet.
Yet at every crossroad and turn,
A sense of loss is all I earn.
Priorities clear yet reluctant,
Get thru it is all I can endeavour.
A mom so supportive is all I need,
In this time to see me thru my deed.
But cannot help it. There are just times when the work gets too intimidating. When faced with daunting equations and indecipherable symbols I get into fits of panic. What a phase!
Who can I look to to console,
A panicky heart constantly on my toes.
Good friends far and near,
Always seeming so dear.
But when I cannot even express,
How will they understand.
When the outlook seems so bleak,
One just wants to get away on one's feet.
Yet at every crossroad and turn,
A sense of loss is all I earn.
Priorities clear yet reluctant,
Get thru it is all I can endeavour.
A mom so supportive is all I need,
In this time to see me thru my deed.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
1Q84 (bk 1)
Sometimes I don't understand why I'm so ill-disciplined. I finished a book at one shot again. No need eat, almost no need sleep. When I'm too free, I'd google to figure out how to kick off addictions like this.
And 1Q84. Its amazing. Some parts are really lengthy, but I guess if not for the 3am reading, I'd probably have not skimmed through certain parts. The good parts I just relished. (note to self: re-read when possible)
I'm just here to contemplate. Its very common for readers/viewers to find a character they identify with be it reading books or watching tv. The most interesting thing about this is that one will realise the difference in the characters they emphatise with and the one they find themselves falling into role with changes! It shows alot about our growth. I see myself in the form of a 17 year old who doesn't speak nor write well in 1Q84. Its in the way she speaks that I see myself time and again. The short replies she gives. The way she questions without a question mark. I did it to my mother but it seems she's used to me. Yet the way the author puts it across, makes it sound like a psychological anomaly!
I see myself in how she trusts others and how her trust is so discerning a wise old man goes along with her instinctive trust. Of course, in the book, the wise old man had ulterior motives. But that's beside the point. Fuka-Eri is a very independent girl. Someone who's capable of protecting herself in her own creative little ways. Such a character! Maybe not the main character in the book, but definitely my star.
P.S. To add on, I really want to thank the lovely girl who introduced the book to me. In person when I see her next year. I hope. We have so much to talk about!
And 1Q84. Its amazing. Some parts are really lengthy, but I guess if not for the 3am reading, I'd probably have not skimmed through certain parts. The good parts I just relished. (note to self: re-read when possible)
I'm just here to contemplate. Its very common for readers/viewers to find a character they identify with be it reading books or watching tv. The most interesting thing about this is that one will realise the difference in the characters they emphatise with and the one they find themselves falling into role with changes! It shows alot about our growth. I see myself in the form of a 17 year old who doesn't speak nor write well in 1Q84. Its in the way she speaks that I see myself time and again. The short replies she gives. The way she questions without a question mark. I did it to my mother but it seems she's used to me. Yet the way the author puts it across, makes it sound like a psychological anomaly!
I see myself in how she trusts others and how her trust is so discerning a wise old man goes along with her instinctive trust. Of course, in the book, the wise old man had ulterior motives. But that's beside the point. Fuka-Eri is a very independent girl. Someone who's capable of protecting herself in her own creative little ways. Such a character! Maybe not the main character in the book, but definitely my star.
P.S. To add on, I really want to thank the lovely girl who introduced the book to me. In person when I see her next year. I hope. We have so much to talk about!
Sunday, September 1, 2013
The days when..
I don't even want to talk to my best friend.
Ultimate desolation.
So last week I was critiqued for not having emotional independence. I thought I wanted to keep this record as a good reminder for myself, although I hope I never need to refer to it. I guess firstly there are just things that don't work. I try to be kind and reason with myself, "you don't want to worry your friends". So I try to manage my predicament, how tough it may be. But no I guess, as much as I try to push myself, as much as I focus on keeping a good health, studying somehow, has this amazing magic to invoke the darkest thoughts and emotions and I guess it all adds up to fear within myself.
So ok, how to cope? Talk I guess, talk to pple. Just let it out. But only to those you're comfortable with. I guess the impetus of being critiqued for the lack of emotional independence spans from the thought that there will be times where "those I'm comfortable with" are just not available. That I may crash. But importantly, I guess I can only remind myself, that I can only be my best. If I'm not capable of emotional independence, so be it. Why incur additional stress trying so.
CONFIDENCE. I guess this needs to be built. Confidence that I can manage school isn't something I can convince myself. Not sure if my friends could, although I don't think they tried. My coach put all his confidence in me though. Something that gives me comfort in dire times. But such thoughts will not get me through my assignments. I need to gather the confidence. From reading more. Besides believing in myself.
Balance. This is inevitable. I try to balance without sacrificing too much. This is hard. Its hard to stay focused on my assignment. Its just too stressful having to sit in front of the computer and expect myself to type out the assignment. So I need to balance. I need to take breathers. I dunno. I'm out of energy. Out of positive energy. (Where did all the positive energy of the past fives years disappear to!?)
Ultimate desolation.
So last week I was critiqued for not having emotional independence. I thought I wanted to keep this record as a good reminder for myself, although I hope I never need to refer to it. I guess firstly there are just things that don't work. I try to be kind and reason with myself, "you don't want to worry your friends". So I try to manage my predicament, how tough it may be. But no I guess, as much as I try to push myself, as much as I focus on keeping a good health, studying somehow, has this amazing magic to invoke the darkest thoughts and emotions and I guess it all adds up to fear within myself.
So ok, how to cope? Talk I guess, talk to pple. Just let it out. But only to those you're comfortable with. I guess the impetus of being critiqued for the lack of emotional independence spans from the thought that there will be times where "those I'm comfortable with" are just not available. That I may crash. But importantly, I guess I can only remind myself, that I can only be my best. If I'm not capable of emotional independence, so be it. Why incur additional stress trying so.
CONFIDENCE. I guess this needs to be built. Confidence that I can manage school isn't something I can convince myself. Not sure if my friends could, although I don't think they tried. My coach put all his confidence in me though. Something that gives me comfort in dire times. But such thoughts will not get me through my assignments. I need to gather the confidence. From reading more. Besides believing in myself.
Balance. This is inevitable. I try to balance without sacrificing too much. This is hard. Its hard to stay focused on my assignment. Its just too stressful having to sit in front of the computer and expect myself to type out the assignment. So I need to balance. I need to take breathers. I dunno. I'm out of energy. Out of positive energy. (Where did all the positive energy of the past fives years disappear to!?)
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