Omg...

This is so classic of the old me... How could I have made such a grave mistake????

I mistook the concert date to be 21 Mar, and thought, ah, everything falls into place, like I perform 21, den pack and go trip on 24 Mar...

To my utter shock today.. during dinner.. someone randomly spouted the 26th Mar date and caught me off guard.. i think i still couldn't believe it... till NOW>..... This means, I cannot perform.. this means, I dun understand what the guy up there is hinting?

He sent me back to orchestra with all those signs.. I am now so clear that what I really need is orchestra cos I yearn the group work.. the blending in... but, he doesn't let me perform. If i cannot perform, I most likely, cannot go back anymore.. for fear of tipping the balance of the orchestra...

I think.. I'm ok not performing.. although I've always wanted to perform in esplanade.. BUT.. its ok... i think what I'd really like is to enjoy practices.. enjoy playing with the team, the conductor and making MUSIC...

oh dear..i dunno what to do.. the very fierce cg will be so angry with me.. i dunno how she will scold me lorz.. sigh...