Condolences

A recent spate of events left me in quite a thoughtful frenzy. A first for me, visiting the funeral of someone whom I've had lunch with, went bowling with, spent precious tea breaks with, working tgt.

I've been to funerals. Always for friends, for families. Never for the deceased, really. I've seen all made up deceased in the wooden box, greying hair and all. But the closest i got was a grand uncle, whom I've never connected with. The rest, i've probably never really seen in life.

Visiting a friend, the one in the coffin, is a totally different experience all together. I thought I'd have gone crazy since this funeral followed a recent painful spate of events. But thank god, there was the guys by my side, and me by theirs. We gave each other support, tide one another thru. They helped calm me down and bring rationale to my thoughts. Can't be more thankful, for their very existence.

It was such a sudden news, his facebook friend invite still hanging in my inbox - haven't had time to respond, and he's already gone. The news, came via email. What better way? I wonder. How would I have responded if Vince told me at the face? But still, I called him in response, screamed at him, quite bewildered. Of course, the person sitting opposite me thought i went crazy as I've nvr, NEVER, spouted such nouns in the 2.5yrs he knew me. He thought it was work, I didn't know how to tell anyone, anyone at all, that my friend died.

Of course, fortunately, the recent spate of events taught me, live goes on! I wonder, maybe i shouldn't have reacted at all, since life goes on. I shouldn't complain that I felt worthless, as life goes on. Maybe it didn't make things any better. maybe by stopping my life when I was so emotional, I made things worse.

I wonder, if I hadn't told anyone how I felt, things will turn out better? jUst continue with life, and accept that sometimes pple just cannot make time for you. sometimes, pple just prioritise other things instead of you. sometimes, pple just won't try to accomodate you. and most times, pple won't remember that you're struggling with work. pple won't remember that you need them to help make life worth living!

if they do, then good for you. if not, life goes on!