I know its missing..

it hit me when she exclaimed 'But we just talked yesterday!'..

I just couldn't fill her in enough. I needed her to KNOW. Somehow I think she already DOES. But I had to make sure she didn't get it wrong!

And now she's in Malaysia, Borneo? I just need someone to talk to! There's too many things missing, over-flowing and breaking. I have to tell her. Or HER.

I think my patience is GONE. They've worn it out totally. I used to think I'm very patient. But no. To them, to him, I'm NOT.

The human who seemed to love me at times, a month and a half ago, could do without talking to me for a month and a half. He made me wait a month and a half for a phone call that never came. The agency that claims I have to start work a week after my last exams, claims I cannot start work even after waiting for two months plus after my exams.

I've been sitting at home waiting. Of course, i was also reading. When have I ever picked up a book at 2pm and finished it at 10pm? Dinner and lunch and toilet and laundry break inclusive? I could sit there and finish a book without external interruptions. This is so precious. To many others out there, it is. To me, it has become mundane. If i were not waiting, I'm sure I'd do more meaningful stuff. Beside finishing a drama series in two days. Reading a series of FOUR books TWICE. Cleaning up the home dustless. Waiting was all I was doing. Why wasn't I out and about? Because I have nothing to spend. I had to restrict myself to non monetary activities. Cycling costs money, swimming does too. Everything is money. And unfortunately i hate running the only free sport i can imagine doing alone.

The worst part about this waiting is, everyone else is busy. Everyone is at sch or at work. Worse off them at work. I needed to talk and there was no one to turn to. Everyone else was caught up. Everyone I was willing to talk to.

'nuff said.

This book i completed today, in one day is good. I like novels. love romance. I've developed this philosophy on why pple read. Or watch tv for that matter. They want answers. Therefore there are programs or books that some like to read or watch while others doesn't. Different pple want answers for different things. Girls like me want to know the answer to L.O.V.E. Boys want the answer to Adventure. Even in love, pple are looking for different things. That's why some love stories intrigue others while some do not. Like the teenage girls would be into Shopaholic while their mature moms would be into more realistic love story of some middle-aged married woman struggling to find the reason behind her marriage again and finds it despite the lack of adventure or spice in Shopaholic. All that down-to-earth romance wouldn't intrigue teenage girls. And somehow, I've moved there. Its weird isn't it? Books like the Girl-next-door doesn't intrigue me anymore. I want to read about down-to-earth relationships. I want to read about the ONE, relationships where there is the ONE. I want to read about pursuing dreams and succeeding. Becos these are what will spur me on. To L.I.V.E.

Yeah, totally amazing. This blog is about being pro life. So I will only blog when I'm pro life. Recently watched this stupid jap drama about some idiotic guy getting too many chances. I think humans need to realise they NEVER get second chances at their lives. Guys/Men need to realise nothing they do will make up for the things they DIDN'T do.

Of enough. I'm ranting cos I cant find anyone to talk to. But that's enough. Doubt anyone will want to read this either. Ciao.